We made it out!

Not that there was anything wrong with being in the MTC ...

***June 15, 2004 JOURNAL: Plane Ride to Guam
          We just passed over the international date line.  Back in Utah it's about 10:30 pm, LIGHTS OUT!
          It's been an eventful day.  I didn't get to bed until about 1 am.
          Yesterday was interesting.  Elder Duthrie and Elder Wagner did leave before the sun came up.  The rest of us got to go to the temple.  Always a good experience.  We didn't do sealings this time though.  I feel as if I wrote about a million letters yesterday.  But I know it was only five or six.  I really want to be able to write to more people, but I'll will do the best I can in the time I'm given.  I can't believe our MTC time is already over.  Sad.  I'm going to miss these Elders.  I don't know if I'll ever see them again.  Lots of goodbyes.
          Sister Wagstaff and I slept through the alarm this morning.  Two sisters came to get us at 4:30 am.  The time we were supposed to be at the travel office.  We left 45 minutes later with another group.  We made it to the airport in time for our flight to Hawaii.  I told Sister Wagstaff her job was to make sure I get back on the plane in Hawaii to go to Guam.  Our flight from Hawaii to Guam was delayed two more hours, giving us a four hour lay over in Hawaii (hello!).  But it was good.  I called home, talked to those folks.  Dad is the new branch president with Brother (William) Michael Sessions and Brother Herbert Franco as counselors.  Called Greg mostly to offer my condolences about his dad being in the branch presidency.  I can't believe that it has been almost a month.  Greg once said that time in the mission field flies faster than in the MTC.  Too fast!
          GOOD: Got on a plane in Hawaii, didn't stay home, got to talk to family and friends, I feel good about this
          COMPANION: has a new nephew, good humored, conversationalist, understands the gospel, understands the Book of Mormon, is willing to help those in need

15 April 2013 God Knows Me, Yes He Does

I remember sitting in district meeting after the our last devotional meeting and the question coming up about calling home at the airport.  I remember President Eddy saying, he had no official position on whether or not we used the airport phones to call home.

I remember having the realization that I would be flying home before going onto Guam.  I also knew that while at the Honolulu Airport I could have, at anytime, called some friends to come and get me and I would have never made it to Guam or Pohnpei.  Luckily for myself, and the two hour layover that stretched into a four hour layover, I had a better sense of purpose related to the work I was about to do.

Last week I studied, "For Peace At Home" by Elder Scott.  His talk will probably still be referred to. This week I am moving to Elder Holland's talk, "Lord, I Believe."

Yesterday, I was sitting in sacrament meeting letting myself get down on my kids behavior and feeling weighed down by some seemingly minuscule trials.  I wrote down my complaints about why do we bring our kids to church when we have to struggle with them for the hour of sacrament meeting and so on, and so forth.  Then I looked at the Relief Society Lesson for that day and read the following tagline quote from President Lorenzo Snow, "Every man and woman who serves the Lord, no matter how faithful they may be, have their dark hours; but if they have lived faithfully, light will burst upon them and relief will be furnished."  It was a tender moment, where I knew the Lord was hearing my pleas for understanding.  But God didn't stop there.  The missionaries shared the following thoughts when they each bore their testimonies:

• Doctrine and Covenants 58: 2, 4, "...he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven. ... For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand."
• trials deepen our faith and our understanding
• it's not up to us to remove ourselves from the refiner's fire
• trials as a missionary taught him that life after serving a mission won't be all smiles and butterflies
• the Lord will strengthen us as we are obedient and serve diligently in our callings
• where there are trials, the Lord is there also
• the Lord will not tempt us, but he will try us

The lesson in Relief Society was entitled, "Faithfulness in Times of Trial: 'From the Shadows into the Glorious Sunshine.'"

• The Lord has determined in His heart that He will try us until He knows what He can do with us
• He will try us,and continue to try us, in order that He may place us in the highest positions in life and put upon us the most sacred responsibilities

Heavenly Father saw me coming and met my needs in church.  He answered the prayers I didn't realize I had be saying and comforted my soul.

For Peace in the Home, Live a Life of Obedience and Service

I noticed that I stopped taking notes in my journal as much as I was at the beginning.  I don't know why.

*** June 13, 2004 JOURNAL: Last Sunday (Record MTC Experience)
          In our district meeting this morning, President Eddy asked us to write down our feelings and experiences of the MTC. (It's so we don't turn into punks and trash talk the MTC when we get home.)  The MTC is the best place to learn.  The atmosphere here is great because we're all learning together and it's done by and through the spirit.  I don't know what more to say except that the Lord put a lot into making this place so very special.
          I got to play piano today in our branch Sacrament Meeting!  And one of the Elders played his violin in the devotional.  I miss Marie (my violin: Marie Antoinette Anastasia Pauahi Mulan Manoa (and her bow: Beau)).  I wonder if I can get her to Guam ...
          We had to say goodbye tonight.  Elder Wagner and Elder Duthrie leave tomorrow morning before we wake up.  It kind of sucks.  It's like saying goodbye to family all over again.  But, like I told President Chapman this morning, we've reached a comfort level and now it's time to move on.
          Opened the letter from home.  Daddy is the new branch President of the Makakilo 2nd Young Single Adult Branch.  I'm so proud of him.  I know he will help the branch.  I'm sad that President Nahinu won't be in the branch when I get back.  But, the Lord knows what's what!  'sall good.

11 April 2013

Having a great day so far!  It's always a great day when I manage to get a shower in before the babies wake up from their naps.

I have been studying Elder Scott's talk, "For Peace in the Home" for the last few days and will for the rest of the week.  Technology these days is great.  After checking lds.org everyday since Sunday, yesterday the talks were up to read.  I was also able to load it onto the gospel library on my phone and kindle!  What's even more amazing is how the annotations (highlights, notes and journals) save across the board.  From my lds.org account, to my phone and my kindle, if I highlight on one, I highlight on all!

Elder Scott teaches that if we want a peaceful home and life we need to center our homes and lives around Jesus Christ.  Which makes sense because Christ did say, "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30 KJV).  I noticed in his talk Elder Scott did not say that in order to have a peaceful home it needs to be immaculately clean (although that would be nice), or have all the latest gadgets or have children that eat dinner neatly and wash their own dishes.  All those things might be nice, at least once in a while.  But, no.  We are taught that true peace and joy comes from living a life of obedience and service, just like our Saviour Jesus Christ.  Elder Scott said, "We need not worry if we cannot simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do.  He has spoken of a time and a season for all things.... He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life."  That counsel gives me peace even when the house is messy and three babies are crying at me all at once.

Spiritual Direction

Thanks for sticking it out, we're almost out of the MTC

*** June, 12, 2004 JOURNAL: Such a Blessed Day
          I got three letters today.  I learned that mail takes forever to get to Hawaii, like a whole week.  I guess I really let myself get down about mail last week.  But at least I know they're getting my mail back at home.
          Aunty Stacy Halemano wrote!  I didn't really expect that, so it was definitely nice.
          Family wrote, of course.  But, I can't open it until tomorrow, 10:00 am Hawaii time.
          I'm going to miss my district.  So awesome.  A lot of good times.
          We said goodbye to Sister King and gave her some candy and a lei.  We gave Brother Robinson an engraved journal with our testimonies in it and a lei.

10 April 2013 - Learning to Listen to the Spirit About the Secular in Nature
On Monday mornings I like to hop over to the local Foodland and check out the manager's specials on meat.  I've found the Monday mornings to generally be successful for me.  However on this particular morning there was nothing.  As I was about to leave I felt to go searching in other sections of the store.  Normally, I have no trouble walking out of a store without buying anything.  Among other things I decided on some pre-made cookie dough that I had coupons for and were on sale.  Simply because I felt it was the right thing to do.  I have all the ingredients to make cookies at home, so I didn't need pre-made dough.  Yesterday morning Nake'u called saying we were asked to feed the missionaries that night.  Picking up the cookie dough was orchestrated inspiration, as it took me all day to clean up down stairs and taking care of babies.  Sometimes I forget that Heavenly Father can direct us in all things not just churchy things.

Happy + Happy = Happy

Trying to be more organized to get blogging done!

*** June 11, 2004 JOURNAL: A Startling Realization
          We were talking about judgement in class.  Elder Duthrie made a good point.  The reason Christ will be our judge is because he knows us.  he's been through everything with us.  He's been trough everything with me.  And even with the wrong choices I've made in live, he never turns his back on me when I need him.  He never fails me.  He never fails to forgive me.  Perhaps, Greg is right, and  I need to begin to forgive myself.  The little things that I let hinder myself that I've repented of, the Lord doesn't even recognize any more.

8 April 2013

And we're back!  Nothing like a General Conference weekend to help me re-inspire my life. I read or heard somewhere of someone studying one talk per week to study and ponder.  I'm going to try that this year.  This week I'll be studying Elder Richard G. Scott's talk.

We were blessed this last weekend to spend some time in Waikiki.  Some time "away" from home to focus on spending time with each other and with the babies.  The babies didn't want to leave the hotel room.  And of course it was nice not having to clean up everyday for a few days.  We had all kinds of great adventures.  But the best moments were spent together with the babies smiling and having fun.

Lloyd's birthday was yesterday.  On Saturday night we wanted to eat at a fun place that would sing Happy Birthday to him.  We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for the first time.  The food was yummy and we had a great time.  Our waiter was admittedly scatter-brained, but he did a good job.  Lloyd was a bit shy about them singing happy birthday to him, but he fully enjoyed the cake.

I used to think that when things were going good that something bad was bound to happen.  And perhaps  that caused me to make bad things out of regular things that happen in life.  I am coming to know that just because things are going good and happy times are stringing themselves together doesn't mean that some bad time destroyer needs to breakup the fun.  In the book of 2 Nephi we learn that we are here to have joy.  God wants us to be happy.  Hard times do come, but even in those times we can still find happiness and joy in life, especially when our lives are centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ and our families.

We're almost out of the MTC and a week-in review

*** June 10, 2004 JOURNAL: Starting to get discouraged
          I guess that just means that I'm not working as hard as I could be.  I feel like I'm not pushing myself as much as I should.  I am probably just thinking too much.  I don't know what it is.  But today was a really hard day for me.  Maybe I'm starting to loose focus.
          Let's see ... why am I here.  Well, a couple of reasons.  First and foremost, I know that this is where the Lord wants me to be, and because I have faith in Him, and his all-knowing plan, this is where I want to be.  I know that I am here to learn, to teach and to be molded.  I know that in less than a week I will be in Micronesia and will be able to share the love of the Lord with the people there.
          I'm sad to see this whole MTC experience come to an end.  Elders Duthrie and Wagner just found out their visas didn't get processed yet, so they leave Monday morning on a six am flight.  It would have been nice to spend one more preparation day as a district, but it's alright.  It's not the purpose of a missionary to hang out with other missionaries on a preparation day.  I know the Lord needs them in Boston and that they will do well there.
          I still think there's more I should be doing.  It will be a matter of prayer and I know the Lord will answer me.
          GOOD: Went to the TEC, practiced piano
          COMPANION: stayed with me while I practiced piano
          GOALS: smile, work harder

15 March 2013
This is just a quickie before getting ready this morning.  What a good time to blog.  Probably because baby is laying right next to me so he can't complain about the mommy not holding him.  This morning I'm going to do some volunteer work at Lloyd's preschool as per his scholarship requirements.

As I was reading the above journal entry, I thought about how often I got discouraged, disappointed and homesick in the mere three weeks I was at the MTC.  While I probably really felt that way, and and I know I used it to drive myself to do my best while I was there, I also have to attribute it, at least in part, to exhaustion.  We did our best to get eight hours of sleep.  But even if we did get the full eight hours of sleep, MTC life is completely energy draining.

A week-in-review:
This week we started walking to school.  For good health, and good measure and to do my visiting teaching!  One of the ladies I visit teach is a crossing guard for the school.  Recently she has stopped coming to church.  We used to talk together all the time in church, but I don't know why she stopped coming and I'm not sure the reason really matters to me.  Walking in the morning give us a chance to talk, albeit briefly, each morning.

A great quote from the "Daughters in My Kingdom" Book, "Your every need shall be fulfilled, now and in the eternities, every neglect will be erased; every abuse will be corrected.  All of this can come to you, and come quickly, when you devote yourself to Relief Society." President Packers.  I read that the other day and I though, I want that promised blessing!!!!  Luckily he outlines exactly what I need to do to receive that blessing, which is to devote myself to Relief Society.  That means exercising charity by loving and accepting folks for who they are.  It means doing more than checking off that I did my vising teaching assignment each month and really watching over the sisters I am assigned to.  It means supporting my leaders.  It means reaching out to those I come in contact with.  It means, in my heart and in practice, looking to truly make my hands the Lord's hands.

So we had the great laundry machine fiasco on Tuesday which affected my whole getting my house in order goal for the week.  Wednesday night Nakeu mended the drain hose and how we have a working  washing machine sans spending $30 on a new drain hose.  It's a temporary fix but a good fix.  Yesterday I washed the rest of the loads and today I endeavor to finish folding and putting clothes away.

All the babies are awake now and they all need specific attention from me apparently :).

The baby hates blogging time

***6/9/06 NOTES: Group Meeting on the Book of Mormon by Brother Dollar
          A. 2 Nephi 4:15 - upon these I write the things of my soul
          B. How did we get the Book of Mormon?
               1.  Translated by the prophet Joseph Smith.  It is convincing evidence that Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God.
               2.  If we remember how we got the Book of Mormon, we ill know how to use it.
                     Written by prophets --> abridged by Mormon --> hidden up by Moroni --> preserved by God --> translated by Joseph Smith
          C. What is the central message of the Book of Mormon?
               1.  It is another testament of Jesus Christ
               2.  Charity is the pure love of Christ.  Christ is pure love
               3.  He will not fail, his love will not fail, his church will not fail.
          D. Use the Book of Mormon to teach
               1.  Teach from it's fullness
               2.  1 Nephi 1:20 - the tender mercies of the Lord are upon all that believe
          E. How Can You Use the Book of Mormon?
               1.  1 Nephi 19:23 - liken all scriptures to ourselves
               2.  If your investigators never read the Book of Mormon, they'll never know it's true

***6/9/04 STUDY JOURNAL: Mosiah 29
          The Lord will answer our prayers if we are humble

***June 9, 2004 JOURNAL
           Kind of a somber morning for our district.  Kind of an off day, I think.  Like we were all in a down mood.
          We went to the referral center.  It wasn't as good an experience as before.  Probably because I wasn't that into it and neither was the rest of the district.
          I am a little excited that I get to play piano in the branch on Sunday.
          I don't know why I'm feeling down today.  Probably because I was telling Sister Hansen (who is assigned to the Hawaii Honolulu Mission) more about home.  Maybe I'm getting sick.
          GOOD: ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/2 mile with companion
          COMPANION: helped me make my bed
          GOALS: smile more, have a good day tomorrow, practice piano

14 March 2013 - The Baby Hates Blogging Time
Or Tactac just doesn't like being put down so I can type at the computer.  I think, he thinks I should be able to do both: carrying him and typing.  Come on Mommy!

When I was reading and typing my above journal entry I noticed how much enthusiasm for the day affects the day.  I wasn't in the mood to work that day and so what could have been great experiences at the referral center suffered because of my mood.  It's also true about chores.  The more I manage to be enthusiastic about the chores I dislike most: washing the dishes and folding clothes, the quicker they get done.  It's one of those, you've gotta fake it till you make it moments.

For a couple of weeks I had a story stuck in my head.  I was almost (but not entirely) sure it was told by President Henry B. Eyring and I thought it was at the last general conference.   It was about President Eyring's daughter who was pregnant and needed help and her visiting teaching companion shows up at her door.  But I could not remember anything else about the talk.  I read through a number of conference talks by President Eyring and couldn't find it. I watched through talks from last general conference thinking I may have confused speakers.  I could not find it.  In asking the Lord I felt I should Google it.  So I typed in the search bar: "President Eyring talk about daughter."  I didn't know how else to search it.  The first website listed had the right reference!  It was last conference.  It was President Eyring.  It was a talk given during the Relief Society general broadcast entitled, "The Caregiver."  My favorite quote from this talk is the tag line,"You will be strengthened and yet inspired to know the limits and extent of your ability to serve."  It really is a useful quote for me.  Sometimes I see other sisters in the ward with all their kids, or working and taking care of their family and I think to myself, I can barely handle three kids that barely listen to us as parents, that refuse to sit still in Sacrament meeting and everything else.  Reading this talk helped me feel better about what I am trying to do in the home and about our parenting skills.  It also reminded me of the talk by President Uchtdorf, "Forget me Not" which helped me stop comparing my weaknesses to the the strength of others.  The words of prophets bringing meaning and comfort to my life and the things I see as challenges.  It's easy for me to assume that I'm the only one that doesn't have it all together.  That I'm the only one that can't keep my house in order.  That I'm the only one that dislikes folding clothes that will end up on the floor and out of drawers within hours of all being neatly put away.  That I'm the only one that can't make it through the day without occasionally throwing my hands up in the air and wanting to give up on the day.  But, when I manage to push all of that clutter and noise out of my mind and focus on doing my best, not compared nor comparable to others, then I feel a greater sense of pride in my day and in my accomplishments.  And I know that as long as I am doing my best, the Lord will continue to strengthen me and my family.

Sometimes things work out different

The Uchdorf's pre-apostleship:

***6/9/04 NOTES: Devotional
     1. Sister Uchtdorf
          A. Ephesians 2:19 - Fellow citizens with the Saints and house of Israel
          B. Sacrifices bring blessings
          C. The biggest sacrifice we can make is to give up everything to the Lord.

     2. Brother Uchdorf
          A. Serve the Lord with all your heart, might, mind and strength.
               1) Serve the way you promised to.
               2) This is our opportunity to give it our all everyday
          B. You are here to find, teach, baptize, and confirm.  To help those young members become strong, faithful members
               1) You need to influence them for good, to keep the commandments after they are baptized so they never fall away.
               2)Prepare them to go to the temple - focus on the temple early - all roads lead to the temple
               3) We need to be missionaries with a purpose.
               4) They need to be taught by missionaries with strong testimonies and the desire to teach by the spirit
          C.  Teach and bear testimony espeically of things not found in other churches
               1) Modern revelation - The prophet Joseph Smith
               2) Book of Mormon - a second witness
               3) The God head - three separate beings with one purpose
               4) The Plan of Salvation
               5) The Word of Wisdom
               6) Temple work - through revelation 
          D. You have to obtain, believe, love, live the doctrine
               1) Study, ponder and have questions, so you can find the answers to those questions
               2) Make it yours by believing it and living it
               3) Let these words sink deep into your heart, so you can teach it from your heart
               4) Depend on motivation and focus to study
               5) The message of the restoration is a true and valid foundation
               6) You need to have the powers of heaven to teach - obedience and personal worthiness requisite
               7) Be alert, exercise, shower and pray before study
          E. Our purpose is to teach the message of the restored gospel in such a way that both the missionary and the investigator are led by the spirit.
               1) If you want to teach from the heart, you must have something in your heart
               2) If you want to teach with conviction, you must have conviction
               3) If you want to teach with testimony, you must have a testimony
               4) Don't overestimate the power of your eloquence and attractiveness!
          F. Follow the guidance of the spirit they need to hear the simple gospel truths

*** 6/8/04 PERSONAL STUDY: Alma 17-18
          A. Characteristics of a Missionary
               1.  waxed strong in the knowledge of truth
               2.  sound understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ
               3.  obtained the word of Christ
               4.  given to much prayer and fasting
               5.  have the spirit of prophecy, the spirit of revelation
               6.  they taught with the power and authority of God
          B. Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah did suffer - God tells them to be patient and they will be blessed
          C. Ammon
               1.  The flocks were scattered and Ammon recovered them (like missionary work)
               2. slinging stones? smiting arms? bring it on! whoo-hoo

*** June 8, 2004 JOURNAL: TUESDAY
          Well I didn't accomplish much of any goals.  It's way past 10:30 pm.  Sister Morris and Sister Sitake (different district, same branch) leave tomorrow morning, so we were saying our goodbyes.  Hard to think that will be us in a week.
          Tonight we did a spotlight on Christ - so good, such strong testimonies.  I'm so grateful for my district, they're the best.

13 March 2013
I had most of this typed out yesterday and never got to posting it.  Grrr!  It was one of those days where I had my day too, well mapped out.  One thing went wrong and my day went from what I considered a fully successful day to: if you walked into my house you'd wondered if I did anything at all.

So I had planned on sharing yesterday, and am doing so today, about how I started reading the Relief Society "Daughters in My Kingdom" book on Sunday.  I know we received it last year (or maybe earlier o.O) but I never made it past the first chapter.  I decided that since I attend Relief Society now it would be a good idea to know the history of Relief Society. In chapter 2, Joseph Smith is quoted from section 93 of the Doctrine and Covenants.  While Joseph Smith is counseling specific families, it is good counsel for me too: "First set in order thy house. ..."  A light bulb clicked on in my head when I read that.  So I set goals for myself to reach this week starting with Monday and cleaning the first floor.  Which I did fairly well.  It wasn't deep cleaning by any means, but the floors were clear of clutter and swept, the table was clean and most of the dishes were done.  Yesterday was my day to focus on laundry.  That plan went bust as I discovered a tiny hole in the drain hose of our washer.  My yesterday's plans crashed and burned and are still unrecognizable.  To add insult to injury we need a specific type of drain hose replacement for our washing machine.  So, while we are figuring out the logistics of replacing the drain hose we will temporarily mend the drain hose with plumbers tape.

Was my yesterday successful?  I'm not sure.  If I think about things that affect my "Celestial Worthiness" the cleanliness of my house plays a lesser role to the time I spent coloring with Pwopwo, walking Lloyd to school, rocking Itasca to sleep, talking on the phone with Nakeu and having dinner (at Denny's because I didn't even get to cooking dinner) with my family.  Lesser even to the time spent reading church materials and Sunday lessons.  Would it have been nice to be a step closer to getting our house in order?  Yes, definitely.   But that must be what today is for. ...  Unless God has another adventure in store for me ;)

As soon as this is posted today, it's time to put my shoulders to the wheel and push along in setting our house in order.

Bringing the Past Into the Present

Back at it.  Trying to decide whether it's easier to type with one hand, or the baby in the crook of my arm ...

While at the MTC we one of the elder's in our district joked about going home and Sis. King decided we needed to watch a talk by Elder Jeffery R. Holland entitled, "Don't You Dare Go Home!"

***Elder Jeffery R. Holland: Don't You Dare Go Home
          A. Don't miss a day, don't miss an hour
          B. Don't live with regret
          C. Serve for all 18/24 months
          D. Every good blessing I have, is because I have gone on a mission
          E. Savor, embrace and cherish every minute of it - it will never come again
          F. Enhance, magnify, glorify and underscore yourself
          G. Plan now for the stories you will tell your children
          H. We can't guarantee heroic results, but every one can pledge heroic effort
          I. We do our missionaries a great disservice if we expect anything less than their best, we can't expect more than your best effort
          J. Obey mission rules, obedience is the first law of missionary work
          K. Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21 - the promise is in the obedience
          L. Be bigger and better and bolder than you've ever been
          M. Don't miss the chance to gain these blessings
          N. It is His work and His glory done His way
          O. It is the hardest work I've ever done
          P. ADVICE
               1.  Teach the atonement of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Saviour of the world
               2.  We want them to have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repent, then be baptized for the remission of sins
               3.   Do not take the simple doctrine for granted - We should talk more about the basic saving ordinances
               4.  Why isn't it easier to get baptisms? - missions have to be hard
                     - salvation is not a cheap experience - it wasn't meant to be easy
                     - If I'm going to be his missionary, how dare I ask not to get close to the anguish he felt
                     - Be disciples of him who did atone
                     - Christ's only imperfections are the one's he choose to keep, the wounds in his hands, feet and side
          Q. Serve suffering (allowing) the will of the Lord from the beginning.

***June 7, 2004 JOURNAL: The Temple
          I'm so glad we got to go tot he temple this morning.  I felt so much better.  I really missed not being able to go the the temple for the past two weeks.  I'm grateful that Greg took me along with him to the temple for that month leading up leaving for the MTC.  I've come to be entirely grateful for the temple.  A great work goes on in the temple and I felt such a calming peace.  It is truly the house of God.  Overall it was a very, very good morning.
          GOOD: went to the temple, did laundry
          COMPANION: understanding, caring
          GOALS: 4th discussion simple summary, work harder, have fun, teach 3rd discussion, lights out at 10:30pm

11 March 2013
Two months later and here I am again.

For historical purposes:
At the end of January we celebrated Alessandra's birthday.  We had a great time with our family at Shakey's Pizza.  It was, of course, Minnie Mouse themed.  We hoped she felt special and especially loved for her birthday.
At the beginning of February, on the evening of the 5th, Itasca was born.  We love him.  More will be shared about his birth story and first month of life in coming blogs.

Yesterday was a great day to be at church.  We were under flash flood advisory and it seemed like Heavenly Father wanted us to work to get to the goodness.  Brother Patrick and Sister Lori Soma spoke in sacrament meeting on the topic of repentance.  Sister Soma a shared personal story about how she stole a piece of candy and her older brother made her apology and paid her debt to the store owner.  She was five-years-old when she first, truly learned the principle of repentance and about the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Lloyd shared a talk in primary about Jesus Christ is my Saviour.  He talked about Enos' wrestle with the Lord.  How Christ's atonement allowed for Enos' forgiveness of sins.  And because Christ's atonement covered Enos' repentance, we can repent and be forgiven as well.

Nake'u and I were able to catch part of the Sunday School lesson after Lloyd's talk.  We learned that the core of pride is enmity.  Separating yourself from God, from those around you, from your family. etc.  We are constantly reminded of the need for humility because we don't all tend toward humility.  Our need for money and "worldly stuff" becomes pride when our focus changes from serving others, to uplifting ourselves in the eyes of others.  Daily and constant prayer can help to keep our focus on God and humility and away from pride.

In Relief Society Sister Ilona Kaonohi taught "The Grand Destiny of the Faithful" from the Teachings of the Prophet Lorenzo Snow.  She shared about how her son Jared is training and competing in track and field.  In order to qualify for states in shot put he needs to throw the ball 45 feet.  However, he keeps landing short of the 40 foot mark.  She constantly tells Jared that he is doing all he can to train, focus and get proper form.  That he needs to keep competing without giving up and the time will come when he will be able to throw the ball far enough.  Sister Kaonohi also shared a Mormon Message by Elder Holland, "Good Things to Come."  I liked that Elder Holland reflected on advice he would give to his younger self:  "Don't you quit.... You keep trying. ...  Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven.  But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.  It will be alright in the end.  Trust God and believe in good things to come."  Sister Kaonohi encouraged us to read scriptures daily, because the scriptures will nourish our souls with the hope we need to get from day to day, until that great day when the work is finished and the Lord stands with open arms to greet his good and faithful servants.

This journal is becoming all about the homesickness....then there was a birthday

*** June 6, 2004 JOURNAL: Fast Sunday at the MTC
          I was alright for most of the day, then my mind started to wander.  I think it's because I was talking to Sis. Hansen about home, and pictures and stuff.  [Sis. Hansen was assigned to the Hawaii, Honolulu Mission]
          I started to feel really lonely.  And I know that's just Satan trying to get to me.  But I couldn't help but give in for a little while.
          I began to see the vision again.  Of how everything fits and why I am here on a mission for the Lord.  But it's still hard.  The end seems so far away and there's a lot of time in between where I don't know what's going to happen.  But I trust in the Lord that everything will work out for the best.  That's why I'm here. I know I am where I belong and I am doing the work that the Lord has called me to do.  I am here because this is what I know I want to do.  But that doesn't mean that I don't get lonely.  But even when I do, I try to catch that glimpse of heaven - of where I want to be and I know I will be alright.
          We watched The Testament tonight.  And for the last few minutes I felt the presence of the Lord so close - and I knew I wasn't alone.

15 January 2013

I always wish my grammar was better, but I don't do anything to make it any better.

My husband is the best.  It was birthday weekend and it was the best ever!  I love a good surprise birthday celebration.  Nakeu is so much better at surprises than I am.  My face doesn't do lying well... For my first birthday together, we were engaged, and my surprise was a day trip to Hawaii island to go to the Kona temple, because I wanted to go to the temple for my birthday and the Laie temple was closed for cleaning.  The next year it was a surprise weekend stay (we were married) at the Marriott Beach Club, bags packed when I picked him up from work.  In 2009 we stayed at the Ihilani with Lloyd.  In 2010, Nakeu let me throw my own birthday party with friends and food at the house.   In 2011 I wanted to go to CPK with friends and family and eat their butter cake with ice cream ... oh, so YUMMY! In 2012 we had a surprise weekend stayed at the Hilton Waikoloa on Hawaii Island.  We <3 that hotel, with the trains and the boats and the pools.  This year was a complete surprise dinner at Bucca De Beppo with friends and family.  The food was soooo yummy!  I had a great time.  Thank you Beb.

On Sunday I was released from teaching in primary.  I could feel the longing eyes of the other primary workers as I dropped Lloyd off at primary (of which there were no tears ...)  I was prepared to teach a lesson on how Heavenly Father has a Body and was put into a Gospel Doctrine lesson on how Jesus Christ is the Saviour of the World.  Luckily our teacher was AWESOME!  And even with as little preparation as I didn't read any of the lesson, I felt inspired and edified and my mind was opened to new thoughts and insights.  Not to mention that I got to got to Relief Society.  I didn't know how much I missed going to Relief Society, after a four year absence.  I did miss teaching the little'uns, though.

What a great weekend.

I didn't realize I thought about home so much while in the MTC

***6/5/04 MISSION CONFERENCE NOTES

    1.  President William J. Williams

          A. Challenge to keep the doctrine pure - Dallin H. Oaks

          B. Teach the simple doctrine of the church

          C. Some times it is okay to say, "Well I don't know that, but here's what I do know..."

     2. President James G. Andrus

          A. We are here to learn what to be, then we won't be salesmen, we'll be Saints

          B. How do you judge a missionary's success - we judge not by any numbers but by the attributes of the Saviour that we see in their grandchildren

          C. The Saviour will know us because we will be like him

          D. The people we teach will pick up the attributes we project

          E. If we stay tuned we will pick up the attributes of our Saviour

          F. We change as we are called to serve and as we serve we gain the attributes of Christ

     3. Sister Andrus

          A. We live in an impatient world

          B. We get frustrated or impatient when things are slow

          C. "Be still and know that I am God"

          D. Everywhere in nature demonstrates patience

          E. "continue in patience until ye are perfected"

          F. The opportunity for patience comes to each of us in different ways

          G. Patience is not a gift, it must be cultivated

          H. Bearing pain calmly

          I. Patience is not indifference, it is caring very much, but being willing to submit to the Lord

          J. Just because we are willing to move on doesn't mean those around us are ready

          K. Christ is the perfect example of patience

          L. Do not let discouragement overcome us, be patient with ourselves

          M. Prayer + Patience --> The Lord with his patience for us, will help us gain patience

***6/5/04 PERSONAL STUDY JOURNAL NOTES: Studying/Teaching by the scriptures

          --The scriptures are useless unless we apply them to our own lives

          A. Know and describe the background

          B. Use relevant scriptures

          C. Let them read the scriptures

          D. Make it easy to find - know the page numbers

          E. Don't pick scriptures that are condemning

          F. Break it down

          G. Use questions to gauge understanding and encourage thought, questions and application

***June 5, 2004 JOURNAL

          This morning started out kind of slowly.  It was alright for most of the day, I was not all here.  Although not depressing my thoughts kept on returning to home.  I really wish there were more hours in the day.  I'd like to be able to study more and to write to more people at home.  I'm hopeful tomorrow isn't going to be hard like last Sunday.  But at least I know I will be able to go to the temple on Monday.

          Every time I learn about the sacrament i gain a deeper appreciation for it.  We talked on it some yesterday.  It helped me to re-realize that we re-new covenants.  All covenants made.  Every week the Lord gives us a chance to try again.  So great!

          We got to teach the first discussion to Elder Foster and Elder Ale tonight.  Elder Ale is from Maui.  The spirit was strong during that time.  It's really great.  Elder Ale has such a strong testimony of the gospel.  He's only been active again for a year or so, and he says he doesn't know much about the gospel.  But when he bears testimony there is no doubt in my mind that he know i'ts true.

          GOOD: learned the fourth discussion, had some time to think to myself

          COMPANION: working on being able to see the good in people, working on trying to say more sincere prayers

          GOALS: simple summary - 4th discussion, pay attention during sacrament meeting, have a good day, not to feel too homesick, smile

3 January 2013

Uhgg.  It's the pits when one spends the whole day cleaning and loses something important...  Or when one spends lots of time folding clothes and the baby decides to re-organize said clothes.

It's been a long, slow process (because I move slowly these days) (two days ...  o.O) to rehab the upstairs of the house after week of fun.  Week of fun was totally worth it!  Also downstairs was forced to stay clean because we had family over for the new year.  Upstairs wasn't too bad, I'm just slow at folding clothes.  But all the clothes are folded now, and there's just pwopwo's room left to be cleaned and to put her clothes away.  I dread putting the kids clothes away most weeks, because without fail one of them will decide that all their clothes needs to be pulled out of the drawers and spread out on the floors.  And only one of them knows how to, albeit reluctantly, put clothes away.

In November I started working on a home management binder and a planner binder.  I will talk more about these later.  I want to get my personal system straight first.  They have both been very useful, as I can't find an app on my kindle fire that can do everything, the way I want it.  Also there's something about writing things down on paper and being able to cross it off that appeals to me.  It's my planner binder that I've managed to misplace in all my cleaning.  I'm sure it will beanbag (for future reference) frog itself tomorrow.

I want to remember today that I feel blessed and loved by a loving Heavenly Father, by my wonderful, amazing husband, by the crazy babies and Dwight the Dog.  Thank you Finale of Les Miserables: "To love another person is to see the face of God!"

2013

***6/4/2004 MEETING NOTES: How to Begin Teaching
          1. Gaining trust through the spirit: The unique thing about our message it it's either true or it's not - will only know through prayer
          2. Be gentle, sincere honest, enthusiastic and positive
               a. who you are
               b. why you are there
               c. what the message can do for them

***June 4, 2004 JOURNAL: We were humbled
          We did the 2nd discussion twice this morning at the resource center.  Good experience.  We were taped and should have got feed back but Bro. Robinson wasn't that worried about Sis. Wagstaff and me.
          Part way through our MDT, (missionary directed time) Elder Wright, was trying to get us to convince him, about why he (posing as an investigator) should change his life.  After some people tried, I told him to ask Elder Duthrie (a convert of just over a year at the time.)  And we were humbled.  He reminded us that it's the spirit that converts, not us, and that we should remember the basic doctrine and not get so caught up in deep doctrine.
          GOOD: taught the 2nd and 3rd discussion, played volleyball
          COMPANION: teaches by the spirit, patient, willing to learn, humble, fun
          GOALS: obtain principles in 4th discussion, start looking over 5th/6th discussion, smile

1 January 2013

Sneaking one in here before the day ends.  Going back to life as normal after week of fun is generally depressing.  That will be for tomorrow.

Up until a couple of years ago, we were allowed to play with fireworks in Hawaii.  The past two years have been boring on New Year's Eve.  There are folk that go out and buy permits to purchase and burn legal firecrackers to pop.  Then there are the one's who get the illegal stuff and burn them for us all to enjoy.  The babies didn't make it until midnight, and I almost didn't make it either.  But we did spend New Year's Eve and New Year's Day together with our family.  That is what mattered to me the most.  The food was great!  We grilled meat and sausages and had some soup and baked beans for New Year's Eve.  When we played tetris on xbox and watched movies and tv to keep ourselves awake between short naps.  We have a tradition in the Smith family of local Hawaiian food for New Year's Day.  We prepared, wrapped and cooked pork and pork and fish laulau.  Nakeu made squid luau, kalua pig and lomi salmon and also boiled peanuts.  Mommy-Daddy have a sushi tradition, so they brought over rolled and cone sushi.  Jorell and Leilani brought some lumpia.  Oh, so yummy!

Back to it then

For some reason I had two journal entries this day ...

***6/03/04 JOURNAL: ATTRIBUTES OF CHRIST - Patience
          I know I've been given lots of opportunities this week that have really tested my patience.  I don't feel like I'm doing very well though, because I still get really angry and although it's not an outward aggression it's still there.  And I know I can't feel the spirit until I am no longer angry.

***June 3, 2004 JOURNAL: THURSDAY
          I was pretty upset this morning.  A lot of stuff piled on and my companion was late getting ready so we missed breakfast.  But I realized I had to get over that in order to be able to learn and to teach.  We taught the 1st discussion to some volunteers this morning.  That was nice.  definitely got some feedback only possible through converts, because they've been there before.  We also went to the Evaluation center.  We met with a Bro. Wagstaff.  He was really helpful because we were working on two specific goals: 1) making bold, direct commitments and 2) creating more of a discussion environment by asking questions.  He taught us how to ask questions on different levels, starting from basic and moving through to more in-depth questions.
          Got to play volleyball.  That was definitely a good release of energy.

30 December 2012

Few things compare to taking a month long, unannounced hiatus then just as unexpectedly jumping  back into things.

December has been a good month for us.  I had not given up on this blog.  I just needed to get settled into some changes before portioning out time to blogging again.

Toward the end of November we found out that Lloyd received a scholarship (Mahalo Kealii Pauahi!) which would allow him to attend preschool from January 2013 - June 2013.  These scholarships are awarded twice a year, and I missed the first round deadline.  There were three available openings at the Seagull School I wanted him to attend located on the Kapolei Elementary School Campus.  We were the second family to put in a deposit in an attempt to hold a spot until January when his scholarship would be active.  Nakeu and I were both concerned that, that spot may not be available in January as the director of the school was unable to to tell me firmly if they would hold his spot, with a deposit, in the case of other families starting full-time in December.  After a short deliberation and feeling we could afford it for one month, Nakeu and I decided to start Lloyd at the beginning of December, part-time, to help him get adjusted and at a slightly cheaper rate.  Our mornings are so quiet without him!  I can't imagine what it will be like on Wednesday when he'll be gone the whole of the day! :(

I had some Christmas things I wanted to do.  I did, on a smaller than I thought, scale make Christmas binders for the babies with coloring pages for songs and stories.  I had too many pages planned and not enough binder space.  So the project got scaled back, but was still successfully completed!  I have always wanted to make chocolates to give out at Christmas time.  In November I found (thank you Pinterest) some easy chocolate recipes to test.  Again this project was scaled back, but it was successfully completed in that I was able to make and give out some chocolate boxes.  The inside of the house was far more decorated, although scaled back from my glorious visions, than in years past.  Nakeu dressed up as Santa.  We made cookies for Santa and had a great Christmas Eve dinner where we formally dressed up the babies because Nakeu and I were too tired from getting dinner and babies and house ready for Christmas Eve to consider dressing up for a formal dinner.

If you noticed the theme of this year was to scale things back.  But the beauty is that we still had a great Christmas!  Not everything needs to get done and not everything needs to be big in order to be special and enjoyable.  And everyone was/is still happy.

One last memory I want to keep.  Early in December, in a phone conversation, Nakeu suggested purchasing only one gift for each other this year.  Then during "Week of Fun" (yes, from Christmas to New Year's when we are both off from work, with the exception of Nakeu who has to work tomorrow) if we find things we want to buy or other things that we need, we could purchase it then.  I had to make sure that Nakeu meant he also would only buy me one gift and I would buy him only one gift.  We agreed, which meant I needed to figure out how he would, if he were to bend the rules.  So on Christmas day we both broke the rules slightly, but the idea was there where we each had one gift from each other to open.  It was a great idea!  The next day the babies were with grandparents so we walked around Ross and picked up a few things that we liked and called it good.  Scaling back.

This year is a lesson in less is definitely more!

Happenings of the Day

***6/2/2004 MEETING NOTES: The Atonement of Jesus Christ - Bro. Dollar
          1. 2Nephi4:15 - The atonement: So sacred and special, it is spiritual learning
          2. Why should we focus on the atonement? Elder Holland:
               A. The atonement was/is a voluntary sacrifice for all pain, sickness, affliction, and sin because Christ loves us.
               B. The atonement is the compassionate foundation
               C. Every truth a missionary teaches is an appendage to the central message that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Holy Messiah, the promised one, the Saviour and the Redeemer
                    1) The point of the restoration is so we can have access to the atonement again
                    2) Sacrifice, for us, is necessary to understand Christ's sacrifice
          3. What does it mean to have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ?
               A. To believe the He is
               B. To live by His teachings
               C. Understanding that it is only possible through Christ's grace
               D. The first act of faith is not waiting for Him, but asking Him
          4. The importance of the atonement:
               A. It is the repeating message of the Book of Mormon: Have faith, repent, be baptized, the Holy Ghost
               B. It is the ever present power to call upon in everyday life.  Whenever we are racked or harrowed up or tormented by guilt or burden, He can heal us.  Pres. Packer.

***June 2, 2004 JOURNAL: One Week In
          So it's been a week.  It's true that the days seem like weeks and the weeks seem like days.
          Got to teach the 1st discussion today.  Such an awesome experience.  The spirit was so strong.  We started by singing a song. <GOOD IDEA: SIS. WAGSTAFF>  That was good for us.  We were a little discouraged after trying to teach Bro. Robinson.
          Feeling kind of down today.  I don't know why.  Homesick again, I guess.
          GOOD: Sang songs, taught 1st discussion
          COMPANION: got stitches twice, dad flies an airplane
          GOALS: Smile, have a good day

28 November 2012

The babies woke up and decided they wanted to wear jackets today.  60 degree weather in Hawaii = jackets for babies.

We are still waiting patiently for our pictures to come in from Olan Mills.  I am still convinced that our pictures were involved in the unfortunate 140 car crash that happened in Texas over the Thanksgiving holiday.  It is still early.  The projected arrival date for our pictures is 10 Dec 2012.  But the lady at the picture place got my hopes up and excited because she mentioned they've been experiencing quicker turn around times, like under a week.  Uh.  Patience.

Cleaning up the house this week.  Thankfully, Nake'u was home all of the Thanksgiving Holiday.  That really helped to keep the house clean.  Now I'm focused on upstairs. ... uh.  No one likes cleaning upstairs.  Probably because it's more utility than anything else.  We are the only ones that come upstairs.  So if it's a little more lived-in than downstairs, no one really knows.  But, I still have this obsession with an entirely clean home.  Most likely a result of too much tv.  Because you could never predict when a random television (or feevee if you are Pwopwo) crew will show up at your home, welcome themselves in and tell you, your house is a mess or that you are a hoarder.

It is not even December yet and we may well be the last ones to put up our outdoor Christmas decorations.  We got our tree on Black Friday, as usual and used the first Family Home Evening night there after to decorate our tree.  But of the seven visible homes in our cul-de-sac, we are one of two that haven't put up our outdoor decorations yet!  It's not even DECEMBER!  We'll catch up.  Probably in December, when outdoor decorations should be put up.

Lloyd already asks me if it's Christmas every morning when he wakes up. I have decided against doing an Advent count-down for the babies.  It was a ton of work last year and we didn't make it out of the first week.  This year we'll plan daily activities.  One thing I want to do and have been working on is making coloring pages of Christmas songs, so we can learn and sing together.  That will be fun.

28 Days

***6/1/2004 MEETING NOTES: Teaching and Finding by the Spirit - Bro. Nelson
          1. Without the spirit you will never succeed regardless of your talent and ability
               A. You are not the teacher
               B. The spirit is the teacher, the Lord is preparing people
          2. How do I prepare to teach by the spirit?  Become the Lord's favorite pen
               A. Not my message, the Lord's message
               B. the Lords work, in His way, on His timetable, without back talk
               C. Always full of ink (scriptural knowledge, doctrine ...)
               D. Be who I am and grow into what He wants me to become
               E. If I am prepared, it will happen
          3. Finding
               A. Work with members, teach in member's homes
               B.  Missionaries "fishing lines" should be in the water the moment they leave the house

***6/1/2004 DEVOTIONAL NOTES OF NOTE: Elder Merril J. Oakes
          1. Don't under estimate what the spirit can do.
          2. Spencer W. Kimball: “If you could only see the vision I have. I wish I had your bodies to do this work. I would run from house to house telling everyone of the gospel, and after I lost strength to run I would begin to walk, and after I collapsed from walking, I would begin to crawl, and after my knees were so bloody that I could not use them I would use my arms to drag myself, and once my muscle in my body was gone I would begin to yell…oh, only if you could see the vision as I have.” 
          3. Never be afraid to share the gospel
          4. Live so that the spirit of the Lord can be with you

***June 1, 2004 JOURNAL: So Good or No Good? Sooo-- Good!
          Good day!
          We went to the referral center again.  I really appreciate that place and the opportunity it provides.  I got to talk to two people today, would've been more but my phone was being funny :(.
          One lady wanted a Finding Faith in Christ video, and she would allow missionaries to deliver it.  She just recently had a hear attack, in addition to being diabetic.  She is home on disability and wanted to know more about Christ.  I felt prompted  to do two things 1) teach her about asking for a priesthood blessing and 2) have her read 3Nephi11.
          The second caller was a man and he also wanted a Finding Faith in Christ video.  I was so impressed that he would call because he wanted his kids to know about Jesus Christ.  I really wanted to lay out  the families can be together forever plan for him, but, I felt like I shouldn't.  But, I know that he is going to check out the website, so hopefully he'll get something out if it.
          We heart attacked two doors tonight - the sisters in our branch.  It was really funny because the other sisters had the same idea at the same time.
          GOOD: Outlined Disc. 2, Service this morning
          COMPANION: helpful, fun
          GOALS: help new missionaries (especially sisters) feel welcome tomorrow.

27 November 2012

According to my count down there are 28 days left until Christmas!  Our house is just busting with excitement.  Last night we decorated the Christmas tree.  In the very true words of Nake'u, it looks like Christmas exploded all over the tree.  The babies had real fun getting ornaments and putting them up on the tree.

Incredible

And we're back!  I've had this post ready for a while now, but haven't made the time to post it.  The honest truth.

***5/31/04 Notes of Note: Personal Study
          Source of truth
          -The scriptures define truth as the word of God
          -The truth makes you free
          -We can learn truth from God through the scriptures and the words of the prophets
          -Sin is an example of how man's understanding is not always basked on principles.  If man's understanding was always based on gospel principles, we would not make mistakes
           -All that is good is from God

***May 31, 2004 JOURNAL: Incredible
          The Lord answers prayers.  I know that he does.  He blessed me with an amazing day.
          Today was preparation day.  For me it was nice and slow paced.  Shined shoes.  Washed clothes.  Had some fun.  Got some exercise.  Read a lot about the atonement, repentance and plan of salvation.  God to write letters home.  I was so excited! It made me feel a lot better.  I hope the letters get there soon.  I want them all to know I'm okay.
          Class was the best though.  We got to go to the referral center (TRC) today.  So awesome!  I spoke with a lady from Colorado who wanted a Finding Faith in Christ DVD.  I got to bear testimony that I know Christ lives and that he died for us.
          Elder Duthrie helped us all out.  He spoke with a man from New York.  He was Catholic, like Elder Duthrie was.  He got to bear testimony of the truthfulness of this gospel and of the power of repentance.  Such a testimony building moment!

26 November 2012

As I type we are half way out the door to run some errands this morning.  I have learned the more I can get done in the morning, the more gets done during the day.  Here's the thing for me.  Once the kids settle down into movie time and nap time, my body also wants to be in movie/nap time mode and take a break.  Then, as the body relaxes, I feel less and less to do work around the house!  Takes a lot of will power to get myself up from a break and get back to work.  Truth in all of that.


Our Thanksgiving holiday was wonderful.  We had great food, and most of all enjoyed spending time together with our little family.  We love our babies and we love spending time with them.

Ahhhh, homesickness

While in the MTC we were required to write a 5 minute talk in preparation for Sacrament Meetings on Sunday.  The topic was assigned by our branch president the previous Sunday, and members of the branch were chosen to share their talks during sacrament meeting.

***5/30/2004 Talk on Repentance written for (but not shared in) Branch Sacrament Meeting
          The bible dictionary tells us that repentance is, "a turning of the heart and will to God, and a renunciation of sin.  ...Without this there can be no progress in the things of Salvation.  Repentance is not optional it is a commandment."
          Because God loves us and wants us to be able to be more like him, He sent us to Earth to be tested.  But He knew that we would not be able to return to Him on our own.  It is through Jesus Christ that we are able to return to our Heavenly Father.  Christ made it possible for us to repent of our sins - otherwise we would not be able to return to our Father in Heaven.
          We are not forced to repent.  In Ether 12:27 it reads, "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."  The Lord knew that we would have difficult times.  This is the way we are able to learn and grow.
          I know that if we will humble ourselves, the Lord will help us, not only in our times of weakness, but whenever we need him.  And if we will humble ourselves before the Lord and seek repentance, make proper confessions, restitution and forsake our sins, I know the Lord will make our weaknesses into strengths.
          There is no better time than the present.  Isaiah tells us that we should repent now - to call upon the Lord while he is near.  Amulek tells us, in the book of Alma that this life is the time for us to prepare to meet God and that we should repent now.  The reason for this, is because we don't know how much longer we have before we will be called back home to our father in Heaven.  We need to be prepared now so that when that day comes we can report to our Father, just as the apostle Paul did, "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith."

***May 30, 2004 JOURNAL: Sunday
          Kind of junkie.  This is going to sound like a lot of complaining, which really shouldn't happen because I know I have so much to be grateful for.
          I was really looking forward to today because Sundays are my most favorite day of the week.  Plus we get a lot of personal study time.  But it wasn't the uplift I was expecting.  I was expecting to feel the way I  do in the branch and that, of course, didn't happen.
          I was already feeling homesick because I knew it was Sunday.  District Meeting was good.  Elder Duthrie and Elder Kuhle were assigned to be Assistants to the President.  Elder Wright was assigned to be district leader and Elder Morris the assistant district leader.
          Then I really started to miss home  The spirit in the branch is special to me.  I was expecting that here.  I was really trying to get my mind off of home.  So I get to work.  Which worked until this evening - I really wasn't feeling it.  So I set my sights on tomorrow - on the temple.  But since it's Memorial Day, the temple is closed.  After I found that out I really had to take some time to calm myself down.  I really wanted to be in a place where I can feel at home, feel the love of my Heavenly Father.  That opportunity will have to wait until next week.  But, I miss it.  The peace and understanding,t he opportunities to learn ...
          GOOD: memorized scriptures
          COMPANION: compassionate
          GOAL: Smile

19 November 2012

Hopefully I'm finally getting over this cold!  Kick it in the butt and out of my body.  I think the clogging in my ears may have cleared up, but I still hear some ringing so it's probably not back to equilibrium yet.

Last night I went to orchestra rehearsal.  Each year our stake produces a Christmas devotional.  This will be my seventh devotional participating in the orchestra.  Each year I reach a point where my stress level produced by whatever that year, lack of personal practice or players participating, or whatever, really starts to get me down.  This year our violin section is particularly small.  This I feel was Heavenly Father saying it's time to push me off a cliff (a President Pulsipher-ism and philosophy on receiving inspiration at transfer time).  I hate being pushed off of cliffs because it leaves me feeling exposed and uncomfortable more times than not.  No one likes that feeling.  This year is leaves me being the lone first violinist in an orchestra of about 12 people which is much smaller than I've experienced in years past.  Here's the reason this is a problem for me.  I don't like the way I sound when I play by myself.  I haven't yet needed to stand on my own to get comfortable with the way I sound.  The other reason this is a problem is because I need to learn how to emote feeling into my playing.  When you're playing with a large group of people this is not necessary.  It is easy to lean on the emotions, swellings and recessions of others to add emotion to the song.  Here are all the opportunities Heavenly Father is helping me to have this Christmas.  Gifts yes.  Uncomfortable, still yes.  But I remember a training we received either in a zone conference or a district meeting.  I'm sure I'll write about it later.  But it was about having an I Can attitude.  We developed an I Can and I Will mantra.  I can and I will.  I can and I will.  I can and I will.  Because what could I attempt to accomplish if I knew I could not fail?  All things!

A post about a Saturday on a Sunday

***Notes of Note from Classes and Meetings
          -Teach His words, not yours
          -Don't testify if you don't, first, believe it
          -Involve the Lord
          -Learn to listen to the spirit
          -How to study the gospel meaningfully:
               1. Why did Mormon put this here?
               2. What would I do in that situation?
               3. What can I learn from this?
               4. How does this teach me of Christ?
               5. How will I recognize similar events in my life?
               6. How could I share this or explain this in my own words to an investigator?
               7. How can I change my life to become like the person I am reading about?
               8. What is the context?
               9. How did they get where they are?  What can I do?
               10. What more can I get from this?  What is the spirit trying to teach me?
               11. Do I believe what I am reading?  Why?  How?

***May 29, 2004 JOURNAL: Saturday
          I didn't even know today was Saturday.  I've totally lost track of day and time!
          Today was a good day.  We got to teach the 1st discussion as a companionship for the first time.  We taught to some elders that are leaving next week.  the spirit was so strong and it felt good to be able to teach that.  I hope we are able to continue at this pace.  To learn and practice as much as we can.  But mostly to gain our own testimonies of the doctrine we will be teaching  I'm finally excited!
          For gym time, Sis. Wagstaff, suggested we do laps around campus.  I suggested we work on memorizing the fist vision.  It worked out great!
          GOOD: Memorized 1st Vision, shared 1st discussion, felt the spirit
          COMPANION: sweet, patient, non-judgmental, understanding
          GOAL: memorize DC 20:37, 5 min talk on Repentance

18 November 2012

ohmigosh this is like the cold that won't give up!  I can't remember the last time I could hear properly or breathe out of my nose.  I can hear Sis. Pulsipher in my ears telling me that if I am feeling sick then I need to clean up my house.  Looks like that will have to wait until tomorrow.  It's hard though, because I feel like I've gotten a ton of rest in the past few days, especially compared to my regular days.  So once again taking it easy today.  Whatever the kids do to the house will have to be okay until tomorrow.  So, maybe there won't be perfect hair or make-up today at church.  Meals will be even simpler than normal.  This morning I sat down and purposefully ate a good breakfast.  The whole breakfast.  Without interruption by babies or putting the dishes away or reading.  Just sat and ate breakfast before I got bored and distracted and decided I was done with it.  Now I am going to be done with this blog so I can take a short nap before getting everybody ready for church.

MTC day two

***5/27/2004 JOURNAL QUOTE: Pres. Ezra Taft Benson
          "I have a vision of thousands of missionaries going into the mission field with hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon so that they might feed the needs of a spiritually famished world."

*** May 27, 2004 JOURNAL: Day Two
          The workings of the spirit are amazing here.
          I feel so blessed.
          Our district is so great.  The Elders really treat Sis. Wagstaff and me with a lot of respect.  It's nice that our group is growing together.  It makes it a lot easier for class discussion and for the spirit to be present there.  I've found a great desire to know everything I possibly can about this gospel.  It know it's true.  I'm so very grateful for our teachers, Sis. King and Bro. Robinson.  They are so supportive and knowledgeable.  So much good!  So much to write, but so little words.
          I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  I know that it was restored its fullness and that is what we have on the earth today.  I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet and that he was chosen to to help the work of the Lord.  I know that among other things, Joseph Smith, restored the power of the priesthood and it is with that authority that the church is operated and directed today.
          GOOD: got to some classes on time, bore testimony twice, awesome district.
          COMPANION: humble, not judgmental, art/photo major, gracious
          GOALS FOR TOMORROW: Take every opportunity to learn by the spirit, bear testimony, patience, love, smile, talk to district.

16 November 2012

On growing up.  It's interesting that each day I spend with my kids the more like a responsible adult I feel.  Especially when it comes to getting things done for them.  I mean, yes, they will look cute in whatever outfit I buy for them or playing with a new toy.  What I'm talking about is getting paperwork done and getting them signed up for activities.  Lloyd was recently awarded a scholarship to attend preschool.  Yesterday we were getting things set up with the school so he can start attending soon.  Nake'u and I have wanted Lloyd to attend preschool for some time, but financially it wasn't something we could afford on our own right now.  And I think, in my heart of hearts, I didn't want Lloyd to be old enough for preschool.  But, I know all my denial about Lloyd's age will only hinder his progress if I don't start letting go more and more.  I knew from the day he was born that that was the last day he was going to belong only to Nake'u and me.  I knew, consciencely that each day my task would be to give him more and more independence until the day he moves out of the house and on with his life.   Working on all the paperwork that needs to get done and an additional doctor's appointment that needed to be scheduled makes it more and more real that my little baby boy that we brought home four years ago is truly growing into a handsome young man, intelligent and respectable.

On being sick.  Last week I blogged about holding my sick girl.  Not long thereafter I got whatever the babies had.  Now, a week later, I am still dealing with this cold.  It's crazy.  I don't like feeling sick.  I have always believed that catching a cold was Heavenly Father's way of telling me I need to take some time and slow down a bit.  But, I don't like that!  Today has been a recoup day from all of yesterday's errands and dinner with the missionaries, through which I allowed myself to be on my feet almost all day.  I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I weren't also pregnant and keeping myself off of more medications than I would have kept away from myself usually.  I feel so lazy, being in bed most of the day and looking around the house and feeling unaccomplished.

Orientation with the MTC Presidency

***5/26/2004 Orientation by MTC Presidency
     1. Pres. Workman - Quiet Dignity
          A. Who are you now? We are ministers (special witnesses) of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
          B. We need to rise above the culture of rebellion against dignity and authority.
          C. We are representatives of Christ
          D. 1Tim4:12 - be thou an example of the believers
          E. DON'T EAT LIKE A PIG
          F. DON'T CHEW LIKE A COW
          G. NO WRESTLING WITH THE ELDERS
          H. Overcome childishness and adopt the dignity of Jesus Christ.
     2. Pres. Andrus - Steps to a good companionship
          A. Learn how to smile
          B. Do everything together
          C. Never go to bed angry
          D. Learn to serve one another - take care of your companion first
          E. Look for something good in your companion everyday
          F. Learn and follow the guidelines the Lord has given us
          G. Never be alone
          -*We are like great rockets - moving slowly at first then increasing until we reach orbital velocity.
     3. Pres. Owen - When obedience ceases to become an irritant and becomes our quest, at that moment we are endowed with power

15 November 2012

It is interesting how much of what I learned as a missionary carries over into real life.  President Pulsipher (my mission president, yet to be introduced in this blogisphere) taught us that our missionary service time is our School for Eternity, training for our whole lives and preparing us for eternity.  I like that the notes above are still true for my life today.

Still super excited as we are now in the "Holiday Season."  Today we are putting together the rest of the outfits for picture taking on Saturday!  I love my husband.  I really think he let's me do things like coordinating clothes for pictures because he knows how much I enjoy it, even though I think he enjoys it as much as I do.  We talk about all these things though because I would hate for him to feel left out.  One year I'm certain we're going to dress like an Old Navy commercial, with hats, scarves, and big jackets on the beach!

First day in the MTC

We made it to the MTC!

***May 26, 2004 JOURNAL: First Day In
          I didn't cry.
          Talked to mom yesterday/last night.  Normal stuff.
          Talked to dad after waiting at the airport for four hours.  Yeah, they were late.
          The MTC is alright.  We haven't really done anything yet so we'll see how it goes tomorrow.
          GOOD: helped my companion, talked to people at dinner, tried to be on time, played piano, bore testimony
          COMPANION: Sister Wagstaff:  Six of nine in her family.  From Heber City, Utah.  Likes tennis.  Likes being near the lake in her town.  Has wanted to go on a mission for a few years.  Has been to the temple once.  Has a testimony of the gospel.  I'm grateful to have been blessed with such an easy going companion.  I know that as we spend more time together we will help each other to learn more of the gospel and come to love one another.
          GOALS FOR TOMORROW: get to activities on time, bear testimony, smile, talk to people in our district.

14 November 2012

Prior to arriving at the MTC I was picked up from the airport by my mom's sister, Aunty Elsalyn.  I had a few hours' wait at the SLC airport, which we will attribute to God and His Orchestration.  While waiting I was able to observe a small family gathering together, maybe 12 people.  They had balloons and welcome home signs.  I remember watching them wait with excited anticipation.  I remember seeing the sister missionary as she was reunited with her family after , what I imagine to have been a successful 18-months of service.  It suddenly felt like such a short amount of time.  I mean, here I entering the MTC and soon I would be home.  I wanted that same look of success and satisfaction that I saw on her.

The weather is starting to cool off bit in the early mornings, which makes for cuddle weather.  Today we'll be tackling the cleaning up the house more.  Having the babies sort out toys that we can sell or donate to make room for new stuff that they will be getting in the coming months.  Still so, so excited about Christmas. Scheduling  picture taking, ordering Christmas greetings and sending them out.  :)