*** June 10, 2004 JOURNAL: Starting to get discouraged
I guess that just means that I'm not working as hard as I could be. I feel like I'm not pushing myself as much as I should. I am probably just thinking too much. I don't know what it is. But today was a really hard day for me. Maybe I'm starting to loose focus.
Let's see ... why am I here. Well, a couple of reasons. First and foremost, I know that this is where the Lord wants me to be, and because I have faith in Him, and his all-knowing plan, this is where I want to be. I know that I am here to learn, to teach and to be molded. I know that in less than a week I will be in Micronesia and will be able to share the love of the Lord with the people there.
I'm sad to see this whole MTC experience come to an end. Elders Duthrie and Wagner just found out their visas didn't get processed yet, so they leave Monday morning on a six am flight. It would have been nice to spend one more preparation day as a district, but it's alright. It's not the purpose of a missionary to hang out with other missionaries on a preparation day. I know the Lord needs them in Boston and that they will do well there.
I still think there's more I should be doing. It will be a matter of prayer and I know the Lord will answer me.
GOOD: Went to the TEC, practiced piano
COMPANION: stayed with me while I practiced piano
GOALS: smile, work harder
15 March 2013
This is just a quickie before getting ready this morning. What a good time to blog. Probably because baby is laying right next to me so he can't complain about the mommy not holding him. This morning I'm going to do some volunteer work at Lloyd's preschool as per his scholarship requirements.
As I was reading the above journal entry, I thought about how often I got discouraged, disappointed and homesick in the mere three weeks I was at the MTC. While I probably really felt that way, and and I know I used it to drive myself to do my best while I was there, I also have to attribute it, at least in part, to exhaustion. We did our best to get eight hours of sleep. But even if we did get the full eight hours of sleep, MTC life is completely energy draining.
A week-in-review:
This week we started walking to school. For good health, and good measure and to do my visiting teaching! One of the ladies I visit teach is a crossing guard for the school. Recently she has stopped coming to church. We used to talk together all the time in church, but I don't know why she stopped coming and I'm not sure the reason really matters to me. Walking in the morning give us a chance to talk, albeit briefly, each morning.
A great quote from the "Daughters in My Kingdom" Book, "Your every need shall be fulfilled, now and in the eternities, every neglect will be erased; every abuse will be corrected. All of this can come to you, and come quickly, when you devote yourself to Relief Society." President Packers. I read that the other day and I though, I want that promised blessing!!!! Luckily he outlines exactly what I need to do to receive that blessing, which is to devote myself to Relief Society. That means exercising charity by loving and accepting folks for who they are. It means doing more than checking off that I did my vising teaching assignment each month and really watching over the sisters I am assigned to. It means supporting my leaders. It means reaching out to those I come in contact with. It means, in my heart and in practice, looking to truly make my hands the Lord's hands.
So we had the great laundry machine fiasco on Tuesday which affected my whole getting my house in order goal for the week. Wednesday night Nakeu mended the drain hose and how we have a working washing machine sans spending $30 on a new drain hose. It's a temporary fix but a good fix. Yesterday I washed the rest of the loads and today I endeavor to finish folding and putting clothes away.
All the babies are awake now and they all need specific attention from me apparently :).
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