Complainer v Comforter and an Update on the Couponing Sit.

A complainer vs a comforter?  Sister Puslispher is the best.  I'm now trying to extend that lesson and decide if I'm a complainer or comforter in my marriage.  For those interested, Nakeu, is a comforter.

***28 June 2004 NOTES: Zone Conference - Sister Pulsipher "Tips for Companionships"
          1. No matter where you are in life you are preparing for the future.  Make the best of a new situation.
          2. Don't let first impressions cloud your mind.
          3. Be a good example
          4. Don't lose sight of your goal.  Visualize it.
          5. Alma 29:9 - be an instrument in the hands of God
          6. Doctrine and Covenants 42:6 - like unto the angels of God
          7. Feel uncomfortable?
               a. Work through it
               b. Make a mental image and work towards that goal
          8. 1 Nephi 5
               a. complainer vs comforter
               b. talk about things with your companion, don't hold a grudge
          9. It is important to bring up matters of concern with your companion.
          10. It is important to listen to matters of concern from your companion.
          11. You are here for a reason.

19 June 2013 - An Update on Couponing

I did my couponing thing yesterday at Longs and Foodland.  We saved something like 49% at Longs.  It was awesome!  I ran into some difficulties while using smartshopper to do matchups.  It would list coupons from the Sunday paper that I couldn't find.  So I contacted Ashley at hawaiishopaholics.com to see what was up.  She said that the database at smartshopper is faulty and the smartshopper company has yet to fix it.  The wouldn't allow her to show the matchups the way she usually does on her website with peelies and other coupons so so no longer puts matchups together for them.  I have since decided to stop using smartshopper because it isn't worth it.  I spend double the time checking that site and then going to  http://hawaiishopaholics.com/coupon-database to make sure I get the right coupons.  I may start posting my matchups, just of the stuff I get to help anyone along who's working out couponing here in Hawaii.

For Peace in the Home, Live a Life of Obedience and Service

I noticed that I stopped taking notes in my journal as much as I was at the beginning.  I don't know why.

*** June 13, 2004 JOURNAL: Last Sunday (Record MTC Experience)
          In our district meeting this morning, President Eddy asked us to write down our feelings and experiences of the MTC. (It's so we don't turn into punks and trash talk the MTC when we get home.)  The MTC is the best place to learn.  The atmosphere here is great because we're all learning together and it's done by and through the spirit.  I don't know what more to say except that the Lord put a lot into making this place so very special.
          I got to play piano today in our branch Sacrament Meeting!  And one of the Elders played his violin in the devotional.  I miss Marie (my violin: Marie Antoinette Anastasia Pauahi Mulan Manoa (and her bow: Beau)).  I wonder if I can get her to Guam ...
          We had to say goodbye tonight.  Elder Wagner and Elder Duthrie leave tomorrow morning before we wake up.  It kind of sucks.  It's like saying goodbye to family all over again.  But, like I told President Chapman this morning, we've reached a comfort level and now it's time to move on.
          Opened the letter from home.  Daddy is the new branch President of the Makakilo 2nd Young Single Adult Branch.  I'm so proud of him.  I know he will help the branch.  I'm sad that President Nahinu won't be in the branch when I get back.  But, the Lord knows what's what!  'sall good.

11 April 2013

Having a great day so far!  It's always a great day when I manage to get a shower in before the babies wake up from their naps.

I have been studying Elder Scott's talk, "For Peace in the Home" for the last few days and will for the rest of the week.  Technology these days is great.  After checking lds.org everyday since Sunday, yesterday the talks were up to read.  I was also able to load it onto the gospel library on my phone and kindle!  What's even more amazing is how the annotations (highlights, notes and journals) save across the board.  From my lds.org account, to my phone and my kindle, if I highlight on one, I highlight on all!

Elder Scott teaches that if we want a peaceful home and life we need to center our homes and lives around Jesus Christ.  Which makes sense because Christ did say, "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30 KJV).  I noticed in his talk Elder Scott did not say that in order to have a peaceful home it needs to be immaculately clean (although that would be nice), or have all the latest gadgets or have children that eat dinner neatly and wash their own dishes.  All those things might be nice, at least once in a while.  But, no.  We are taught that true peace and joy comes from living a life of obedience and service, just like our Saviour Jesus Christ.  Elder Scott said, "We need not worry if we cannot simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do.  He has spoken of a time and a season for all things.... He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life."  That counsel gives me peace even when the house is messy and three babies are crying at me all at once.

Spiritual Direction

Thanks for sticking it out, we're almost out of the MTC

*** June, 12, 2004 JOURNAL: Such a Blessed Day
          I got three letters today.  I learned that mail takes forever to get to Hawaii, like a whole week.  I guess I really let myself get down about mail last week.  But at least I know they're getting my mail back at home.
          Aunty Stacy Halemano wrote!  I didn't really expect that, so it was definitely nice.
          Family wrote, of course.  But, I can't open it until tomorrow, 10:00 am Hawaii time.
          I'm going to miss my district.  So awesome.  A lot of good times.
          We said goodbye to Sister King and gave her some candy and a lei.  We gave Brother Robinson an engraved journal with our testimonies in it and a lei.

10 April 2013 - Learning to Listen to the Spirit About the Secular in Nature
On Monday mornings I like to hop over to the local Foodland and check out the manager's specials on meat.  I've found the Monday mornings to generally be successful for me.  However on this particular morning there was nothing.  As I was about to leave I felt to go searching in other sections of the store.  Normally, I have no trouble walking out of a store without buying anything.  Among other things I decided on some pre-made cookie dough that I had coupons for and were on sale.  Simply because I felt it was the right thing to do.  I have all the ingredients to make cookies at home, so I didn't need pre-made dough.  Yesterday morning Nake'u called saying we were asked to feed the missionaries that night.  Picking up the cookie dough was orchestrated inspiration, as it took me all day to clean up down stairs and taking care of babies.  Sometimes I forget that Heavenly Father can direct us in all things not just churchy things.

Happy + Happy = Happy

Trying to be more organized to get blogging done!

*** June 11, 2004 JOURNAL: A Startling Realization
          We were talking about judgement in class.  Elder Duthrie made a good point.  The reason Christ will be our judge is because he knows us.  he's been through everything with us.  He's been trough everything with me.  And even with the wrong choices I've made in live, he never turns his back on me when I need him.  He never fails me.  He never fails to forgive me.  Perhaps, Greg is right, and  I need to begin to forgive myself.  The little things that I let hinder myself that I've repented of, the Lord doesn't even recognize any more.

8 April 2013

And we're back!  Nothing like a General Conference weekend to help me re-inspire my life. I read or heard somewhere of someone studying one talk per week to study and ponder.  I'm going to try that this year.  This week I'll be studying Elder Richard G. Scott's talk.

We were blessed this last weekend to spend some time in Waikiki.  Some time "away" from home to focus on spending time with each other and with the babies.  The babies didn't want to leave the hotel room.  And of course it was nice not having to clean up everyday for a few days.  We had all kinds of great adventures.  But the best moments were spent together with the babies smiling and having fun.

Lloyd's birthday was yesterday.  On Saturday night we wanted to eat at a fun place that would sing Happy Birthday to him.  We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for the first time.  The food was yummy and we had a great time.  Our waiter was admittedly scatter-brained, but he did a good job.  Lloyd was a bit shy about them singing happy birthday to him, but he fully enjoyed the cake.

I used to think that when things were going good that something bad was bound to happen.  And perhaps  that caused me to make bad things out of regular things that happen in life.  I am coming to know that just because things are going good and happy times are stringing themselves together doesn't mean that some bad time destroyer needs to breakup the fun.  In the book of 2 Nephi we learn that we are here to have joy.  God wants us to be happy.  Hard times do come, but even in those times we can still find happiness and joy in life, especially when our lives are centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ and our families.

We're almost out of the MTC and a week-in review

*** June 10, 2004 JOURNAL: Starting to get discouraged
          I guess that just means that I'm not working as hard as I could be.  I feel like I'm not pushing myself as much as I should.  I am probably just thinking too much.  I don't know what it is.  But today was a really hard day for me.  Maybe I'm starting to loose focus.
          Let's see ... why am I here.  Well, a couple of reasons.  First and foremost, I know that this is where the Lord wants me to be, and because I have faith in Him, and his all-knowing plan, this is where I want to be.  I know that I am here to learn, to teach and to be molded.  I know that in less than a week I will be in Micronesia and will be able to share the love of the Lord with the people there.
          I'm sad to see this whole MTC experience come to an end.  Elders Duthrie and Wagner just found out their visas didn't get processed yet, so they leave Monday morning on a six am flight.  It would have been nice to spend one more preparation day as a district, but it's alright.  It's not the purpose of a missionary to hang out with other missionaries on a preparation day.  I know the Lord needs them in Boston and that they will do well there.
          I still think there's more I should be doing.  It will be a matter of prayer and I know the Lord will answer me.
          GOOD: Went to the TEC, practiced piano
          COMPANION: stayed with me while I practiced piano
          GOALS: smile, work harder

15 March 2013
This is just a quickie before getting ready this morning.  What a good time to blog.  Probably because baby is laying right next to me so he can't complain about the mommy not holding him.  This morning I'm going to do some volunteer work at Lloyd's preschool as per his scholarship requirements.

As I was reading the above journal entry, I thought about how often I got discouraged, disappointed and homesick in the mere three weeks I was at the MTC.  While I probably really felt that way, and and I know I used it to drive myself to do my best while I was there, I also have to attribute it, at least in part, to exhaustion.  We did our best to get eight hours of sleep.  But even if we did get the full eight hours of sleep, MTC life is completely energy draining.

A week-in-review:
This week we started walking to school.  For good health, and good measure and to do my visiting teaching!  One of the ladies I visit teach is a crossing guard for the school.  Recently she has stopped coming to church.  We used to talk together all the time in church, but I don't know why she stopped coming and I'm not sure the reason really matters to me.  Walking in the morning give us a chance to talk, albeit briefly, each morning.

A great quote from the "Daughters in My Kingdom" Book, "Your every need shall be fulfilled, now and in the eternities, every neglect will be erased; every abuse will be corrected.  All of this can come to you, and come quickly, when you devote yourself to Relief Society." President Packers.  I read that the other day and I though, I want that promised blessing!!!!  Luckily he outlines exactly what I need to do to receive that blessing, which is to devote myself to Relief Society.  That means exercising charity by loving and accepting folks for who they are.  It means doing more than checking off that I did my vising teaching assignment each month and really watching over the sisters I am assigned to.  It means supporting my leaders.  It means reaching out to those I come in contact with.  It means, in my heart and in practice, looking to truly make my hands the Lord's hands.

So we had the great laundry machine fiasco on Tuesday which affected my whole getting my house in order goal for the week.  Wednesday night Nakeu mended the drain hose and how we have a working  washing machine sans spending $30 on a new drain hose.  It's a temporary fix but a good fix.  Yesterday I washed the rest of the loads and today I endeavor to finish folding and putting clothes away.

All the babies are awake now and they all need specific attention from me apparently :).

The baby hates blogging time

***6/9/06 NOTES: Group Meeting on the Book of Mormon by Brother Dollar
          A. 2 Nephi 4:15 - upon these I write the things of my soul
          B. How did we get the Book of Mormon?
               1.  Translated by the prophet Joseph Smith.  It is convincing evidence that Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God.
               2.  If we remember how we got the Book of Mormon, we ill know how to use it.
                     Written by prophets --> abridged by Mormon --> hidden up by Moroni --> preserved by God --> translated by Joseph Smith
          C. What is the central message of the Book of Mormon?
               1.  It is another testament of Jesus Christ
               2.  Charity is the pure love of Christ.  Christ is pure love
               3.  He will not fail, his love will not fail, his church will not fail.
          D. Use the Book of Mormon to teach
               1.  Teach from it's fullness
               2.  1 Nephi 1:20 - the tender mercies of the Lord are upon all that believe
          E. How Can You Use the Book of Mormon?
               1.  1 Nephi 19:23 - liken all scriptures to ourselves
               2.  If your investigators never read the Book of Mormon, they'll never know it's true

***6/9/04 STUDY JOURNAL: Mosiah 29
          The Lord will answer our prayers if we are humble

***June 9, 2004 JOURNAL
           Kind of a somber morning for our district.  Kind of an off day, I think.  Like we were all in a down mood.
          We went to the referral center.  It wasn't as good an experience as before.  Probably because I wasn't that into it and neither was the rest of the district.
          I am a little excited that I get to play piano in the branch on Sunday.
          I don't know why I'm feeling down today.  Probably because I was telling Sister Hansen (who is assigned to the Hawaii Honolulu Mission) more about home.  Maybe I'm getting sick.
          GOOD: ran 1/2 mile, walked 1/2 mile with companion
          COMPANION: helped me make my bed
          GOALS: smile more, have a good day tomorrow, practice piano

14 March 2013 - The Baby Hates Blogging Time
Or Tactac just doesn't like being put down so I can type at the computer.  I think, he thinks I should be able to do both: carrying him and typing.  Come on Mommy!

When I was reading and typing my above journal entry I noticed how much enthusiasm for the day affects the day.  I wasn't in the mood to work that day and so what could have been great experiences at the referral center suffered because of my mood.  It's also true about chores.  The more I manage to be enthusiastic about the chores I dislike most: washing the dishes and folding clothes, the quicker they get done.  It's one of those, you've gotta fake it till you make it moments.

For a couple of weeks I had a story stuck in my head.  I was almost (but not entirely) sure it was told by President Henry B. Eyring and I thought it was at the last general conference.   It was about President Eyring's daughter who was pregnant and needed help and her visiting teaching companion shows up at her door.  But I could not remember anything else about the talk.  I read through a number of conference talks by President Eyring and couldn't find it. I watched through talks from last general conference thinking I may have confused speakers.  I could not find it.  In asking the Lord I felt I should Google it.  So I typed in the search bar: "President Eyring talk about daughter."  I didn't know how else to search it.  The first website listed had the right reference!  It was last conference.  It was President Eyring.  It was a talk given during the Relief Society general broadcast entitled, "The Caregiver."  My favorite quote from this talk is the tag line,"You will be strengthened and yet inspired to know the limits and extent of your ability to serve."  It really is a useful quote for me.  Sometimes I see other sisters in the ward with all their kids, or working and taking care of their family and I think to myself, I can barely handle three kids that barely listen to us as parents, that refuse to sit still in Sacrament meeting and everything else.  Reading this talk helped me feel better about what I am trying to do in the home and about our parenting skills.  It also reminded me of the talk by President Uchtdorf, "Forget me Not" which helped me stop comparing my weaknesses to the the strength of others.  The words of prophets bringing meaning and comfort to my life and the things I see as challenges.  It's easy for me to assume that I'm the only one that doesn't have it all together.  That I'm the only one that can't keep my house in order.  That I'm the only one that dislikes folding clothes that will end up on the floor and out of drawers within hours of all being neatly put away.  That I'm the only one that can't make it through the day without occasionally throwing my hands up in the air and wanting to give up on the day.  But, when I manage to push all of that clutter and noise out of my mind and focus on doing my best, not compared nor comparable to others, then I feel a greater sense of pride in my day and in my accomplishments.  And I know that as long as I am doing my best, the Lord will continue to strengthen me and my family.

Sometimes things work out different

The Uchdorf's pre-apostleship:

***6/9/04 NOTES: Devotional
     1. Sister Uchtdorf
          A. Ephesians 2:19 - Fellow citizens with the Saints and house of Israel
          B. Sacrifices bring blessings
          C. The biggest sacrifice we can make is to give up everything to the Lord.

     2. Brother Uchdorf
          A. Serve the Lord with all your heart, might, mind and strength.
               1) Serve the way you promised to.
               2) This is our opportunity to give it our all everyday
          B. You are here to find, teach, baptize, and confirm.  To help those young members become strong, faithful members
               1) You need to influence them for good, to keep the commandments after they are baptized so they never fall away.
               2)Prepare them to go to the temple - focus on the temple early - all roads lead to the temple
               3) We need to be missionaries with a purpose.
               4) They need to be taught by missionaries with strong testimonies and the desire to teach by the spirit
          C.  Teach and bear testimony espeically of things not found in other churches
               1) Modern revelation - The prophet Joseph Smith
               2) Book of Mormon - a second witness
               3) The God head - three separate beings with one purpose
               4) The Plan of Salvation
               5) The Word of Wisdom
               6) Temple work - through revelation 
          D. You have to obtain, believe, love, live the doctrine
               1) Study, ponder and have questions, so you can find the answers to those questions
               2) Make it yours by believing it and living it
               3) Let these words sink deep into your heart, so you can teach it from your heart
               4) Depend on motivation and focus to study
               5) The message of the restoration is a true and valid foundation
               6) You need to have the powers of heaven to teach - obedience and personal worthiness requisite
               7) Be alert, exercise, shower and pray before study
          E. Our purpose is to teach the message of the restored gospel in such a way that both the missionary and the investigator are led by the spirit.
               1) If you want to teach from the heart, you must have something in your heart
               2) If you want to teach with conviction, you must have conviction
               3) If you want to teach with testimony, you must have a testimony
               4) Don't overestimate the power of your eloquence and attractiveness!
          F. Follow the guidance of the spirit they need to hear the simple gospel truths

*** 6/8/04 PERSONAL STUDY: Alma 17-18
          A. Characteristics of a Missionary
               1.  waxed strong in the knowledge of truth
               2.  sound understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ
               3.  obtained the word of Christ
               4.  given to much prayer and fasting
               5.  have the spirit of prophecy, the spirit of revelation
               6.  they taught with the power and authority of God
          B. Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah did suffer - God tells them to be patient and they will be blessed
          C. Ammon
               1.  The flocks were scattered and Ammon recovered them (like missionary work)
               2. slinging stones? smiting arms? bring it on! whoo-hoo

*** June 8, 2004 JOURNAL: TUESDAY
          Well I didn't accomplish much of any goals.  It's way past 10:30 pm.  Sister Morris and Sister Sitake (different district, same branch) leave tomorrow morning, so we were saying our goodbyes.  Hard to think that will be us in a week.
          Tonight we did a spotlight on Christ - so good, such strong testimonies.  I'm so grateful for my district, they're the best.

13 March 2013
I had most of this typed out yesterday and never got to posting it.  Grrr!  It was one of those days where I had my day too, well mapped out.  One thing went wrong and my day went from what I considered a fully successful day to: if you walked into my house you'd wondered if I did anything at all.

So I had planned on sharing yesterday, and am doing so today, about how I started reading the Relief Society "Daughters in My Kingdom" book on Sunday.  I know we received it last year (or maybe earlier o.O) but I never made it past the first chapter.  I decided that since I attend Relief Society now it would be a good idea to know the history of Relief Society. In chapter 2, Joseph Smith is quoted from section 93 of the Doctrine and Covenants.  While Joseph Smith is counseling specific families, it is good counsel for me too: "First set in order thy house. ..."  A light bulb clicked on in my head when I read that.  So I set goals for myself to reach this week starting with Monday and cleaning the first floor.  Which I did fairly well.  It wasn't deep cleaning by any means, but the floors were clear of clutter and swept, the table was clean and most of the dishes were done.  Yesterday was my day to focus on laundry.  That plan went bust as I discovered a tiny hole in the drain hose of our washer.  My yesterday's plans crashed and burned and are still unrecognizable.  To add insult to injury we need a specific type of drain hose replacement for our washing machine.  So, while we are figuring out the logistics of replacing the drain hose we will temporarily mend the drain hose with plumbers tape.

Was my yesterday successful?  I'm not sure.  If I think about things that affect my "Celestial Worthiness" the cleanliness of my house plays a lesser role to the time I spent coloring with Pwopwo, walking Lloyd to school, rocking Itasca to sleep, talking on the phone with Nakeu and having dinner (at Denny's because I didn't even get to cooking dinner) with my family.  Lesser even to the time spent reading church materials and Sunday lessons.  Would it have been nice to be a step closer to getting our house in order?  Yes, definitely.   But that must be what today is for. ...  Unless God has another adventure in store for me ;)

As soon as this is posted today, it's time to put my shoulders to the wheel and push along in setting our house in order.

Bringing the Past Into the Present

Back at it.  Trying to decide whether it's easier to type with one hand, or the baby in the crook of my arm ...

While at the MTC we one of the elder's in our district joked about going home and Sis. King decided we needed to watch a talk by Elder Jeffery R. Holland entitled, "Don't You Dare Go Home!"

***Elder Jeffery R. Holland: Don't You Dare Go Home
          A. Don't miss a day, don't miss an hour
          B. Don't live with regret
          C. Serve for all 18/24 months
          D. Every good blessing I have, is because I have gone on a mission
          E. Savor, embrace and cherish every minute of it - it will never come again
          F. Enhance, magnify, glorify and underscore yourself
          G. Plan now for the stories you will tell your children
          H. We can't guarantee heroic results, but every one can pledge heroic effort
          I. We do our missionaries a great disservice if we expect anything less than their best, we can't expect more than your best effort
          J. Obey mission rules, obedience is the first law of missionary work
          K. Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21 - the promise is in the obedience
          L. Be bigger and better and bolder than you've ever been
          M. Don't miss the chance to gain these blessings
          N. It is His work and His glory done His way
          O. It is the hardest work I've ever done
          P. ADVICE
               1.  Teach the atonement of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Saviour of the world
               2.  We want them to have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repent, then be baptized for the remission of sins
               3.   Do not take the simple doctrine for granted - We should talk more about the basic saving ordinances
               4.  Why isn't it easier to get baptisms? - missions have to be hard
                     - salvation is not a cheap experience - it wasn't meant to be easy
                     - If I'm going to be his missionary, how dare I ask not to get close to the anguish he felt
                     - Be disciples of him who did atone
                     - Christ's only imperfections are the one's he choose to keep, the wounds in his hands, feet and side
          Q. Serve suffering (allowing) the will of the Lord from the beginning.

***June 7, 2004 JOURNAL: The Temple
          I'm so glad we got to go tot he temple this morning.  I felt so much better.  I really missed not being able to go the the temple for the past two weeks.  I'm grateful that Greg took me along with him to the temple for that month leading up leaving for the MTC.  I've come to be entirely grateful for the temple.  A great work goes on in the temple and I felt such a calming peace.  It is truly the house of God.  Overall it was a very, very good morning.
          GOOD: went to the temple, did laundry
          COMPANION: understanding, caring
          GOALS: 4th discussion simple summary, work harder, have fun, teach 3rd discussion, lights out at 10:30pm

11 March 2013
Two months later and here I am again.

For historical purposes:
At the end of January we celebrated Alessandra's birthday.  We had a great time with our family at Shakey's Pizza.  It was, of course, Minnie Mouse themed.  We hoped she felt special and especially loved for her birthday.
At the beginning of February, on the evening of the 5th, Itasca was born.  We love him.  More will be shared about his birth story and first month of life in coming blogs.

Yesterday was a great day to be at church.  We were under flash flood advisory and it seemed like Heavenly Father wanted us to work to get to the goodness.  Brother Patrick and Sister Lori Soma spoke in sacrament meeting on the topic of repentance.  Sister Soma a shared personal story about how she stole a piece of candy and her older brother made her apology and paid her debt to the store owner.  She was five-years-old when she first, truly learned the principle of repentance and about the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Lloyd shared a talk in primary about Jesus Christ is my Saviour.  He talked about Enos' wrestle with the Lord.  How Christ's atonement allowed for Enos' forgiveness of sins.  And because Christ's atonement covered Enos' repentance, we can repent and be forgiven as well.

Nake'u and I were able to catch part of the Sunday School lesson after Lloyd's talk.  We learned that the core of pride is enmity.  Separating yourself from God, from those around you, from your family. etc.  We are constantly reminded of the need for humility because we don't all tend toward humility.  Our need for money and "worldly stuff" becomes pride when our focus changes from serving others, to uplifting ourselves in the eyes of others.  Daily and constant prayer can help to keep our focus on God and humility and away from pride.

In Relief Society Sister Ilona Kaonohi taught "The Grand Destiny of the Faithful" from the Teachings of the Prophet Lorenzo Snow.  She shared about how her son Jared is training and competing in track and field.  In order to qualify for states in shot put he needs to throw the ball 45 feet.  However, he keeps landing short of the 40 foot mark.  She constantly tells Jared that he is doing all he can to train, focus and get proper form.  That he needs to keep competing without giving up and the time will come when he will be able to throw the ball far enough.  Sister Kaonohi also shared a Mormon Message by Elder Holland, "Good Things to Come."  I liked that Elder Holland reflected on advice he would give to his younger self:  "Don't you quit.... You keep trying. ...  Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven.  But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come.  It will be alright in the end.  Trust God and believe in good things to come."  Sister Kaonohi encouraged us to read scriptures daily, because the scriptures will nourish our souls with the hope we need to get from day to day, until that great day when the work is finished and the Lord stands with open arms to greet his good and faithful servants.

This journal is becoming all about the homesickness....then there was a birthday

*** June 6, 2004 JOURNAL: Fast Sunday at the MTC
          I was alright for most of the day, then my mind started to wander.  I think it's because I was talking to Sis. Hansen about home, and pictures and stuff.  [Sis. Hansen was assigned to the Hawaii, Honolulu Mission]
          I started to feel really lonely.  And I know that's just Satan trying to get to me.  But I couldn't help but give in for a little while.
          I began to see the vision again.  Of how everything fits and why I am here on a mission for the Lord.  But it's still hard.  The end seems so far away and there's a lot of time in between where I don't know what's going to happen.  But I trust in the Lord that everything will work out for the best.  That's why I'm here. I know I am where I belong and I am doing the work that the Lord has called me to do.  I am here because this is what I know I want to do.  But that doesn't mean that I don't get lonely.  But even when I do, I try to catch that glimpse of heaven - of where I want to be and I know I will be alright.
          We watched The Testament tonight.  And for the last few minutes I felt the presence of the Lord so close - and I knew I wasn't alone.

15 January 2013

I always wish my grammar was better, but I don't do anything to make it any better.

My husband is the best.  It was birthday weekend and it was the best ever!  I love a good surprise birthday celebration.  Nakeu is so much better at surprises than I am.  My face doesn't do lying well... For my first birthday together, we were engaged, and my surprise was a day trip to Hawaii island to go to the Kona temple, because I wanted to go to the temple for my birthday and the Laie temple was closed for cleaning.  The next year it was a surprise weekend stay (we were married) at the Marriott Beach Club, bags packed when I picked him up from work.  In 2009 we stayed at the Ihilani with Lloyd.  In 2010, Nakeu let me throw my own birthday party with friends and food at the house.   In 2011 I wanted to go to CPK with friends and family and eat their butter cake with ice cream ... oh, so YUMMY! In 2012 we had a surprise weekend stayed at the Hilton Waikoloa on Hawaii Island.  We <3 that hotel, with the trains and the boats and the pools.  This year was a complete surprise dinner at Bucca De Beppo with friends and family.  The food was soooo yummy!  I had a great time.  Thank you Beb.

On Sunday I was released from teaching in primary.  I could feel the longing eyes of the other primary workers as I dropped Lloyd off at primary (of which there were no tears ...)  I was prepared to teach a lesson on how Heavenly Father has a Body and was put into a Gospel Doctrine lesson on how Jesus Christ is the Saviour of the World.  Luckily our teacher was AWESOME!  And even with as little preparation as I didn't read any of the lesson, I felt inspired and edified and my mind was opened to new thoughts and insights.  Not to mention that I got to got to Relief Society.  I didn't know how much I missed going to Relief Society, after a four year absence.  I did miss teaching the little'uns, though.

What a great weekend.

I didn't realize I thought about home so much while in the MTC

***6/5/04 MISSION CONFERENCE NOTES

    1.  President William J. Williams

          A. Challenge to keep the doctrine pure - Dallin H. Oaks

          B. Teach the simple doctrine of the church

          C. Some times it is okay to say, "Well I don't know that, but here's what I do know..."

     2. President James G. Andrus

          A. We are here to learn what to be, then we won't be salesmen, we'll be Saints

          B. How do you judge a missionary's success - we judge not by any numbers but by the attributes of the Saviour that we see in their grandchildren

          C. The Saviour will know us because we will be like him

          D. The people we teach will pick up the attributes we project

          E. If we stay tuned we will pick up the attributes of our Saviour

          F. We change as we are called to serve and as we serve we gain the attributes of Christ

     3. Sister Andrus

          A. We live in an impatient world

          B. We get frustrated or impatient when things are slow

          C. "Be still and know that I am God"

          D. Everywhere in nature demonstrates patience

          E. "continue in patience until ye are perfected"

          F. The opportunity for patience comes to each of us in different ways

          G. Patience is not a gift, it must be cultivated

          H. Bearing pain calmly

          I. Patience is not indifference, it is caring very much, but being willing to submit to the Lord

          J. Just because we are willing to move on doesn't mean those around us are ready

          K. Christ is the perfect example of patience

          L. Do not let discouragement overcome us, be patient with ourselves

          M. Prayer + Patience --> The Lord with his patience for us, will help us gain patience

***6/5/04 PERSONAL STUDY JOURNAL NOTES: Studying/Teaching by the scriptures

          --The scriptures are useless unless we apply them to our own lives

          A. Know and describe the background

          B. Use relevant scriptures

          C. Let them read the scriptures

          D. Make it easy to find - know the page numbers

          E. Don't pick scriptures that are condemning

          F. Break it down

          G. Use questions to gauge understanding and encourage thought, questions and application

***June 5, 2004 JOURNAL

          This morning started out kind of slowly.  It was alright for most of the day, I was not all here.  Although not depressing my thoughts kept on returning to home.  I really wish there were more hours in the day.  I'd like to be able to study more and to write to more people at home.  I'm hopeful tomorrow isn't going to be hard like last Sunday.  But at least I know I will be able to go to the temple on Monday.

          Every time I learn about the sacrament i gain a deeper appreciation for it.  We talked on it some yesterday.  It helped me to re-realize that we re-new covenants.  All covenants made.  Every week the Lord gives us a chance to try again.  So great!

          We got to teach the first discussion to Elder Foster and Elder Ale tonight.  Elder Ale is from Maui.  The spirit was strong during that time.  It's really great.  Elder Ale has such a strong testimony of the gospel.  He's only been active again for a year or so, and he says he doesn't know much about the gospel.  But when he bears testimony there is no doubt in my mind that he know i'ts true.

          GOOD: learned the fourth discussion, had some time to think to myself

          COMPANION: working on being able to see the good in people, working on trying to say more sincere prayers

          GOALS: simple summary - 4th discussion, pay attention during sacrament meeting, have a good day, not to feel too homesick, smile

3 January 2013

Uhgg.  It's the pits when one spends the whole day cleaning and loses something important...  Or when one spends lots of time folding clothes and the baby decides to re-organize said clothes.

It's been a long, slow process (because I move slowly these days) (two days ...  o.O) to rehab the upstairs of the house after week of fun.  Week of fun was totally worth it!  Also downstairs was forced to stay clean because we had family over for the new year.  Upstairs wasn't too bad, I'm just slow at folding clothes.  But all the clothes are folded now, and there's just pwopwo's room left to be cleaned and to put her clothes away.  I dread putting the kids clothes away most weeks, because without fail one of them will decide that all their clothes needs to be pulled out of the drawers and spread out on the floors.  And only one of them knows how to, albeit reluctantly, put clothes away.

In November I started working on a home management binder and a planner binder.  I will talk more about these later.  I want to get my personal system straight first.  They have both been very useful, as I can't find an app on my kindle fire that can do everything, the way I want it.  Also there's something about writing things down on paper and being able to cross it off that appeals to me.  It's my planner binder that I've managed to misplace in all my cleaning.  I'm sure it will beanbag (for future reference) frog itself tomorrow.

I want to remember today that I feel blessed and loved by a loving Heavenly Father, by my wonderful, amazing husband, by the crazy babies and Dwight the Dog.  Thank you Finale of Les Miserables: "To love another person is to see the face of God!"

2013

***6/4/2004 MEETING NOTES: How to Begin Teaching
          1. Gaining trust through the spirit: The unique thing about our message it it's either true or it's not - will only know through prayer
          2. Be gentle, sincere honest, enthusiastic and positive
               a. who you are
               b. why you are there
               c. what the message can do for them

***June 4, 2004 JOURNAL: We were humbled
          We did the 2nd discussion twice this morning at the resource center.  Good experience.  We were taped and should have got feed back but Bro. Robinson wasn't that worried about Sis. Wagstaff and me.
          Part way through our MDT, (missionary directed time) Elder Wright, was trying to get us to convince him, about why he (posing as an investigator) should change his life.  After some people tried, I told him to ask Elder Duthrie (a convert of just over a year at the time.)  And we were humbled.  He reminded us that it's the spirit that converts, not us, and that we should remember the basic doctrine and not get so caught up in deep doctrine.
          GOOD: taught the 2nd and 3rd discussion, played volleyball
          COMPANION: teaches by the spirit, patient, willing to learn, humble, fun
          GOALS: obtain principles in 4th discussion, start looking over 5th/6th discussion, smile

1 January 2013

Sneaking one in here before the day ends.  Going back to life as normal after week of fun is generally depressing.  That will be for tomorrow.

Up until a couple of years ago, we were allowed to play with fireworks in Hawaii.  The past two years have been boring on New Year's Eve.  There are folk that go out and buy permits to purchase and burn legal firecrackers to pop.  Then there are the one's who get the illegal stuff and burn them for us all to enjoy.  The babies didn't make it until midnight, and I almost didn't make it either.  But we did spend New Year's Eve and New Year's Day together with our family.  That is what mattered to me the most.  The food was great!  We grilled meat and sausages and had some soup and baked beans for New Year's Eve.  When we played tetris on xbox and watched movies and tv to keep ourselves awake between short naps.  We have a tradition in the Smith family of local Hawaiian food for New Year's Day.  We prepared, wrapped and cooked pork and pork and fish laulau.  Nakeu made squid luau, kalua pig and lomi salmon and also boiled peanuts.  Mommy-Daddy have a sushi tradition, so they brought over rolled and cone sushi.  Jorell and Leilani brought some lumpia.  Oh, so yummy!

Back to it then

For some reason I had two journal entries this day ...

***6/03/04 JOURNAL: ATTRIBUTES OF CHRIST - Patience
          I know I've been given lots of opportunities this week that have really tested my patience.  I don't feel like I'm doing very well though, because I still get really angry and although it's not an outward aggression it's still there.  And I know I can't feel the spirit until I am no longer angry.

***June 3, 2004 JOURNAL: THURSDAY
          I was pretty upset this morning.  A lot of stuff piled on and my companion was late getting ready so we missed breakfast.  But I realized I had to get over that in order to be able to learn and to teach.  We taught the 1st discussion to some volunteers this morning.  That was nice.  definitely got some feedback only possible through converts, because they've been there before.  We also went to the Evaluation center.  We met with a Bro. Wagstaff.  He was really helpful because we were working on two specific goals: 1) making bold, direct commitments and 2) creating more of a discussion environment by asking questions.  He taught us how to ask questions on different levels, starting from basic and moving through to more in-depth questions.
          Got to play volleyball.  That was definitely a good release of energy.

30 December 2012

Few things compare to taking a month long, unannounced hiatus then just as unexpectedly jumping  back into things.

December has been a good month for us.  I had not given up on this blog.  I just needed to get settled into some changes before portioning out time to blogging again.

Toward the end of November we found out that Lloyd received a scholarship (Mahalo Kealii Pauahi!) which would allow him to attend preschool from January 2013 - June 2013.  These scholarships are awarded twice a year, and I missed the first round deadline.  There were three available openings at the Seagull School I wanted him to attend located on the Kapolei Elementary School Campus.  We were the second family to put in a deposit in an attempt to hold a spot until January when his scholarship would be active.  Nakeu and I were both concerned that, that spot may not be available in January as the director of the school was unable to to tell me firmly if they would hold his spot, with a deposit, in the case of other families starting full-time in December.  After a short deliberation and feeling we could afford it for one month, Nakeu and I decided to start Lloyd at the beginning of December, part-time, to help him get adjusted and at a slightly cheaper rate.  Our mornings are so quiet without him!  I can't imagine what it will be like on Wednesday when he'll be gone the whole of the day! :(

I had some Christmas things I wanted to do.  I did, on a smaller than I thought, scale make Christmas binders for the babies with coloring pages for songs and stories.  I had too many pages planned and not enough binder space.  So the project got scaled back, but was still successfully completed!  I have always wanted to make chocolates to give out at Christmas time.  In November I found (thank you Pinterest) some easy chocolate recipes to test.  Again this project was scaled back, but it was successfully completed in that I was able to make and give out some chocolate boxes.  The inside of the house was far more decorated, although scaled back from my glorious visions, than in years past.  Nakeu dressed up as Santa.  We made cookies for Santa and had a great Christmas Eve dinner where we formally dressed up the babies because Nakeu and I were too tired from getting dinner and babies and house ready for Christmas Eve to consider dressing up for a formal dinner.

If you noticed the theme of this year was to scale things back.  But the beauty is that we still had a great Christmas!  Not everything needs to get done and not everything needs to be big in order to be special and enjoyable.  And everyone was/is still happy.

One last memory I want to keep.  Early in December, in a phone conversation, Nakeu suggested purchasing only one gift for each other this year.  Then during "Week of Fun" (yes, from Christmas to New Year's when we are both off from work, with the exception of Nakeu who has to work tomorrow) if we find things we want to buy or other things that we need, we could purchase it then.  I had to make sure that Nakeu meant he also would only buy me one gift and I would buy him only one gift.  We agreed, which meant I needed to figure out how he would, if he were to bend the rules.  So on Christmas day we both broke the rules slightly, but the idea was there where we each had one gift from each other to open.  It was a great idea!  The next day the babies were with grandparents so we walked around Ross and picked up a few things that we liked and called it good.  Scaling back.

This year is a lesson in less is definitely more!

A post about a Saturday on a Sunday

***Notes of Note from Classes and Meetings
          -Teach His words, not yours
          -Don't testify if you don't, first, believe it
          -Involve the Lord
          -Learn to listen to the spirit
          -How to study the gospel meaningfully:
               1. Why did Mormon put this here?
               2. What would I do in that situation?
               3. What can I learn from this?
               4. How does this teach me of Christ?
               5. How will I recognize similar events in my life?
               6. How could I share this or explain this in my own words to an investigator?
               7. How can I change my life to become like the person I am reading about?
               8. What is the context?
               9. How did they get where they are?  What can I do?
               10. What more can I get from this?  What is the spirit trying to teach me?
               11. Do I believe what I am reading?  Why?  How?

***May 29, 2004 JOURNAL: Saturday
          I didn't even know today was Saturday.  I've totally lost track of day and time!
          Today was a good day.  We got to teach the 1st discussion as a companionship for the first time.  We taught to some elders that are leaving next week.  the spirit was so strong and it felt good to be able to teach that.  I hope we are able to continue at this pace.  To learn and practice as much as we can.  But mostly to gain our own testimonies of the doctrine we will be teaching  I'm finally excited!
          For gym time, Sis. Wagstaff, suggested we do laps around campus.  I suggested we work on memorizing the fist vision.  It worked out great!
          GOOD: Memorized 1st Vision, shared 1st discussion, felt the spirit
          COMPANION: sweet, patient, non-judgmental, understanding
          GOAL: memorize DC 20:37, 5 min talk on Repentance

18 November 2012

ohmigosh this is like the cold that won't give up!  I can't remember the last time I could hear properly or breathe out of my nose.  I can hear Sis. Pulsipher in my ears telling me that if I am feeling sick then I need to clean up my house.  Looks like that will have to wait until tomorrow.  It's hard though, because I feel like I've gotten a ton of rest in the past few days, especially compared to my regular days.  So once again taking it easy today.  Whatever the kids do to the house will have to be okay until tomorrow.  So, maybe there won't be perfect hair or make-up today at church.  Meals will be even simpler than normal.  This morning I sat down and purposefully ate a good breakfast.  The whole breakfast.  Without interruption by babies or putting the dishes away or reading.  Just sat and ate breakfast before I got bored and distracted and decided I was done with it.  Now I am going to be done with this blog so I can take a short nap before getting everybody ready for church.

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts

Day 17 and going strong.  Now that that's been stated, tomorrow will likely be a bust!

It should be known and noted that while I was in the MTC, we were not memorizing discussions.  We were using outlines and encouraged to teach by and with the Spirit.  We were told that the teaching methods were changing and a big change would come while we were in the mission field.  After a very few months of being out in the field we were introduced to Preach My Gospel.  I still love that book.

Also, there will be some notes from my personal scripture study and it should be noted that we were encouraged by our District President to study 2 Nephi 9 for 30 days.

***5/28/2004 NOTES of note from group meetings and classes:
          -"Ok, Lord, what can I do next?"  Then follow with exactness
          -Every good thought that comes to your mind is guidance from the spirit ... -Richard G. Scott
          -Get in --> Get powerful --> Get out!
          -At the end, invite them to change
          -Our goal is to help people come unto Christ
          --2Nephi9:  atonement is infinite and eternal, without the atonement we cannot return to God
               -righteous before = righteous after, filthy before = filthy after
               -Endured the crosses of the world: -joy shall be full forever  -so-- worth it!
          --Teaching No Greater Call: Teaching with Testimony: "... Nothing short of a testimony by the power of the Holy Ghost would bring wight and knowledge to them - bring them to repentance...." Pres. Young

*** May 28, 2004 JOURNAL: Day Three
          I got mail today.  I almost let it get to me.  I wanted to open it right there in class.  But I know the Elders were getting anxious about letters and so, so I'm thankful for teh example of my companion to put it away until a later time.
          The spirit is so strong here, and I'm grateful for it.  It helps me to learn at a much more accelerated rate than I would be able to do outside of the MTC.  And the spirit isn't afraid to testify of the truths, the doctrines and the principles that we learn here.  I'm grateful for the teachers that unload this wealth of knowledge on us - and like sponges we just take it all in.  I'm grateful for Elders that are excited about missionary work and push our district to newer and higher levels.
          GOOD: on time to more things, learning by the spirit, bore testimony, memorization
          COMPANION: humble, patient, helpful

17 November 2012

On waking up early.  I trained myself to be an early riser because in high school I needed to be on a bus that left at 6:15 am.  There after waking up early was not difficult for me.  In college, taking early classes meant I didn't have to be in class all at once in the middle of the day and could usually avoid evening and late afternoon classes, which I liked.  Waking up as a missionary at 6:30 am was not difficult for me.  Even now, my husband and I are early risers.  I see great benefits of being in the habit of an early riser.  We get to enjoy quiet time together before the babies wake up, although, they don't sleep much past 6:30 am.  We are able to get a lot done in the mornings before the sluggish post-lunch time of the day.  More accomplished in the morning/pre-noon time means less that needs to be done later.  It's not for everyone, but it works for us.

Today we took our annual pictures.  This year we went to the Olan Mills at KMart.  In previous years we'd go to Sears.  I had a coupon for cheaper and good looking Christmas greetings and cheaper great portraits that I am so excited about.  It's going to be like waiting for forever for the next two weeks until we get our pictures and cards.

As I type, I'm sitting here watching Nake'u play with Alessandra.  Pwopwo has her daddy wrapped and knows how to work him over.  And Nake'u loves that about her.  The babies love him and they love playing with him and that makes me smile.  I know there will be times in the future when our babies will disagree with us and hate us, so I am soaking in these moments when they love us.

On My Way to the MTC

***May 23, 2004 JOURNAL: Last Night Here

***May 25, 2004 JOURNAL:From San Francisco
          I didn't cry at the airport.  I thought I would, but I guess because I didn't hug anyone, outside of my family, there was less of an emotional goodbye, or because I've been saying goodbye to people for the past two weeks.  I'm almost surprised at how alright I am, maybe it just hasn't "sunk-in"yet.
          Besides my own family, Greg Sessions and two others also came to see me off.  I have gained a great appreciation for Greg.  Especially for his spirit and his counsel.  When he told he some of his fears, I emailed him my favorite talk by Sheri Dew about seeing the "Big Finish."  He returned the favor of sorts at the airport.  He gave me a talk by Elder Packer (The Candle of the Lord) and a letter of counsel to never settle for less than I deserve.
          The plane is about to board and I'm still not excited, like I think should be.  I know I have work to do.  I know that work can and will only be accomplished with the help of and by the direction of the Lord.  I am ready to work.  I am ready to learn and to grow and to help those around me in anyway I can.  I am as ready as I will ever be.  I look forward to the experiences both good and bad that lay before me.  I know that the spirit of the Lord is with me and I am not afraid.  We'll see how long that lasts.

13 November 2012

I don't know if I was ever really excited to about getting to the MTC or even to the mission field.  I think determined might be a better word.  Besides, I had taught myself not to get excited over things, that way I don't get disappointed when things don't work out. ... What a sad outlook on life.  Now I get excited to anticipate many things.  Currently, I am super excited that next week is Thanksgiving.  Time to spend with my family, enjoying great food and remembering everything I have to be grateful for.  I am so excited for Black Friday I could bust!  When we drove past the Home Depot today I was already looking out for those refrigerated-Matson containers that would be holding the Christmas tree will soon be standing in our front room.  I've learned it's better to get excited and happy about things and life and face occasional disappointment then to always live in fear of disappointment.

Going to the temple

Monday.  Monday.

***May 10, 2004 JOURNAL: Temple
          I went to the temple on Saturday (5/8).  I feel like that is the best thing I've ever done.  I'm grateful for the opportunity I've had (and now have) to attend the temple.  I'm grateful for the prep-classes that were offered to me.  I felt very ready when I got there and I wasn't scared.  Sister Munsen talked to me in the instructional room.  I'm grateful for the advice some people gave me before I went it.  It was way more important to listen for/identify the promptings of the spirit, rather than worry myself about trying to understand everything all at once.  I know that greater understanding will come as I continue to attend the temple and as I continue to live my life in accordance with the principles of the gospel.  Someday I hope to be able to work there.

12 November 2012

I believe my kids are rock stars.  I love watching them grow and learn and be happy everyday.  The more I spend time with my kids, the more I learn about how Heavenly Father must feel about me.

Got My Temple Recommend!

Just telling you about my life at the time.  Since I received my call to serve as a missionary I made myself very busy attending church meetings and spending time with friends.

***May 2, 2004 JOURNAL: It's a Sunday
          Got my temple recommend signed by President Paet.  Went to the branch for Sacrament.  I miss the branch.  I'm so glad the people in the branch "hang out" a lot more than they used to.
          Leo came over to help us move some stuff yesterday.  I haven't seen her in a long while.
          Penny leaves the night of my party.  Went to her house yesterday.  I enjoy hanging out at her house.  Her nephews are so much fun.  I'm glad she stayed as long as she did.
          Greg has been over more.  We've been having fun doing fun excursions together and watching movies.
          This has been a re-telling more than anything else.  How I feel about things are hard at the moment.  I've been very tired this past week.  In part due to lack of sleep and part due to lack of good sleep.
          Here is what I know: I'm leaving to serve the Lord in less than a month.  I'm going.  I am going to serve for 18 months.  As long as I have that set in my mind I know I'll be alright.  That is my focus.  As long as I can focus on leaving and keeping myself straight, I am alright.

11 November 2012

I am a cryer.  I never anticipated being the crying woman in the movies and when my babies do great things.  Today was the Primary presentation in our ward.  For one song just the 4-6 year-olds sang.  I cried.  Not hysterically.  Just the welling up of tears that start to drip un-control-ably.  He usually yells his favorite part, "...the best, I can ..." and my heart just swells.  It's hard to believe he's four-years-old.  I see him as ageless.  All I know is he's my baby.

The Arrival of the Mission Call

I skipped over some journals to get to more the excitement sooner.

***March 12, 2004 JOURNAL QUOTE: Mike Hutchison
          "On the path of life we must keep moving through pain and loss, for the journey provides the meaning to the final destination."

***March 28, 2004 JOURNAL QUOTE: Anonymous
          "Strength does not come from winning.  Your struggles develop your strengths.  When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength."


***April 17, 2004 JOURNAL: Catchin' Up
          It's been awhile.  A lot has happened and I feel the need to write. I've felt the need to wrote for awhile, but I couldn't get my thoughts together.
          First off - I got my mission call.  It got back really fast.  I saw Stake President on March 16th.  My call arrived in the mailbox on April 2nd.  I've been assigned to serve in the Micronesia Guam Mission.  I'm not excited yet.  I have to report to the MTC on May 26th.  Time here is short and I'm trying to manage it well.  Last night I went to see "Swing" with Greg, Jason and Jason's friend Monica. It was a musical type of show - kind of like "Smokey Joe's Cafe."  It was really good: swing music, dancing, can't go wrong.

10 November 2012

I remember the mission call came in the mail on a Thursday, and I wanted to open it immediately.  Daddy told me I had to wait until Saturday.  Saturday was the first day of General Conference.  After the second session we had luncheon set-up at the house and invited a bunch of friends over.  Then, finally, after lunch, I got to open and read my call.  I remember, not entirely knowing where the Micronesia Guam mission was located.  I was called to be trained on teaching in the English language in the MTC. I had no idea at the time the diversity of people and languages I would soon meet.

So, after holding Pwopwo for hours yesterday, so she could feel happy and sleep even though she was sick, both my babies abandoned us last night ... :).  Once a night our little family has dinner with my parents and sister at Hannarah's.  While there Lloyd asked if we could go over to my parent's house, then preceded to ask (spontaneously) if they could sleep over at my parent's house. As we dropped them off at my parent's house I get a waving, "Bye, mama, bye."  From Pwopwo and barely a hug from Lloyd.  I love my kids.  They grow up so quickly!

Whats's more Important?

I am currently editing in html so I can sit next to Alessandra who is not feeling well at the moment.

***March 11, 2004 JOURNAL: Missions
          I don't want people to make a big fuss over me.  I'm scared.  I was brought to the realization Monday that more than anything this mission will be about personal growth.  I know it'll all turn out well, that it'll provide growth and experience that can't be gained anywhere else.  But I'm scared and I'm no exactly sure why.  It makes me feel emotional and makes me want to cry.  I don't want them to make a big fuss over it on Sunday at the branch.  I'm not gone yet and I'd rather the transition be smooth and not be a big shock next week, for my last week.  There is still work that needs to be done in the branch.
          Dad was telling me there's a lot of good I can do in the ward before I leave.  Help build up the singles program there.  I know it was selfish to think I'd get a break.  The work goes on.  It is always there - waiting for us to take the opportunity to be blessed

9 November 2012

I'm witting next to an awake sick child that is sucking on her thumb and pinching my arm. When Pwopwo is sick she finds it easiest to sleep right on someone rather than in her crib or in her own space.  So for the better of the last few hours I have been helping her go back to sleep, helping Lloyd stay asleep and tending to my, thankfully, well infant client.  About 10 minutes ago I finally gave her some medication.  Which means naptime is over.  But at least she feels better.  What does that mean?  It means the dishes are currently not washed, the house is somewhat in disarray, and the trash has not been taken out yet.  Here's the thing though: in a few short years the house will be wholely clean everyday and all the time because my babies will have grown up and moved out and will not need me to hold them to sleep while they are sick. While it is important for the dishes to be wahsed and he house to be tidied and the trash to be taken out those things will not make up for missing out on spending precious time with my babies while they are with me.  Not an all the time excuse, but enough reason for right now.

Gratitude

Do you know how many people would know if I skipped out on blogging for one day?

***JOURNAL: March 4, 2004
          I'm grateful for this journal and I'm glad I'm writing again.  It allows me to see progression in myself.  It acts as a compilation of thoughts, quotes, ideas and letters.  It is my space to think out loud which is necessary for me because I don't talk to very many people about that things that are bothering me.  I've found I'm grateful for a lot of things.  Rain, of course (whoo-hoo we're expecting another storm!)  I'm grateful for the branch.  Funny though, because I never wanted to go to the branch.  I had already belonged to the singles ward in Oregon and wanted to be in a home ward over my breaks.  I'm grateful for all the opportunities I've had to serve in the branch.  I'm beginning to see how everything in my life fits together.  I would never had made it to the University of Oregon if I had stayed at Nanakuli High.  Kamehameha allowed an environment that would help me to grow in ways not possible anywhere else.  I know it was not meant for me to go to any BYU campus, not that I wanted to either.  I went to a BYU open house one year in high school, the speaker got up and said, "Church college is not for everyone.  Just because you are a member of this church does not mean you need to attend BYU."  I said, amen and was ready to leave.  I thought Oregon fit me much better.  I needed to be in a place that allowed me to make my own decisions, without so many straight out restrictions.  A place where people din't know me yet.  Somewhere that I could be myself without expectations.  Overall, Oregon was a good experience for me.  I met some great people and there are some memories I know I'll never forget.  Leaving school early was necessary.  I can see how I've grown in ways I never thought possible.  I've collected traits, quirks, habits, and other stuff from the different places that I've been and the different people I've met.  These are things I can keep with me forever.  Long after I grow out of t-shirts and pens run out of ink.  I'm grateful for all the things the Lord has provided for me - especially the people he has allowed me to meet.  I feel I have reached a mini-climactic point in "The Book of Ari's Life."  It's that point where you can see how everything you've read form the beginning is falling into place.  You can see why certain decisions had to be made and why particular roads had to be taken.  You can guess at what this should all resolve to, but you read on to find out how it all works out.

8 November 2012

It has been a marathon kind of day today.  And in all things today, I am grateful for my husband.  Especially on days like to day, I'm grateful I said yes and was temple ready when he was.  Preach My Gospel talks about how the Lord is preparing us to meet specific people and preparing them to me us.  I believe that was the case with Nake'u and me.  He is everything I asked Heavenly Father to give me in an eternal companion and so much more.  I love you, Nake'u Smith.  Thank you for all you've done to make today easier than it would've been to take our two babies, and infant client to two doctors appointments where we were in each doctor's office for over an hour. Then cooking yummy get-better soup for all of us sicky-faces.  "You're the best" doesn't even begin to describe.