This journal is becoming all about the homesickness....then there was a birthday

*** June 6, 2004 JOURNAL: Fast Sunday at the MTC
          I was alright for most of the day, then my mind started to wander.  I think it's because I was talking to Sis. Hansen about home, and pictures and stuff.  [Sis. Hansen was assigned to the Hawaii, Honolulu Mission]
          I started to feel really lonely.  And I know that's just Satan trying to get to me.  But I couldn't help but give in for a little while.
          I began to see the vision again.  Of how everything fits and why I am here on a mission for the Lord.  But it's still hard.  The end seems so far away and there's a lot of time in between where I don't know what's going to happen.  But I trust in the Lord that everything will work out for the best.  That's why I'm here. I know I am where I belong and I am doing the work that the Lord has called me to do.  I am here because this is what I know I want to do.  But that doesn't mean that I don't get lonely.  But even when I do, I try to catch that glimpse of heaven - of where I want to be and I know I will be alright.
          We watched The Testament tonight.  And for the last few minutes I felt the presence of the Lord so close - and I knew I wasn't alone.

15 January 2013

I always wish my grammar was better, but I don't do anything to make it any better.

My husband is the best.  It was birthday weekend and it was the best ever!  I love a good surprise birthday celebration.  Nakeu is so much better at surprises than I am.  My face doesn't do lying well... For my first birthday together, we were engaged, and my surprise was a day trip to Hawaii island to go to the Kona temple, because I wanted to go to the temple for my birthday and the Laie temple was closed for cleaning.  The next year it was a surprise weekend stay (we were married) at the Marriott Beach Club, bags packed when I picked him up from work.  In 2009 we stayed at the Ihilani with Lloyd.  In 2010, Nakeu let me throw my own birthday party with friends and food at the house.   In 2011 I wanted to go to CPK with friends and family and eat their butter cake with ice cream ... oh, so YUMMY! In 2012 we had a surprise weekend stayed at the Hilton Waikoloa on Hawaii Island.  We <3 that hotel, with the trains and the boats and the pools.  This year was a complete surprise dinner at Bucca De Beppo with friends and family.  The food was soooo yummy!  I had a great time.  Thank you Beb.

On Sunday I was released from teaching in primary.  I could feel the longing eyes of the other primary workers as I dropped Lloyd off at primary (of which there were no tears ...)  I was prepared to teach a lesson on how Heavenly Father has a Body and was put into a Gospel Doctrine lesson on how Jesus Christ is the Saviour of the World.  Luckily our teacher was AWESOME!  And even with as little preparation as I didn't read any of the lesson, I felt inspired and edified and my mind was opened to new thoughts and insights.  Not to mention that I got to got to Relief Society.  I didn't know how much I missed going to Relief Society, after a four year absence.  I did miss teaching the little'uns, though.

What a great weekend.

I didn't realize I thought about home so much while in the MTC

***6/5/04 MISSION CONFERENCE NOTES

    1.  President William J. Williams

          A. Challenge to keep the doctrine pure - Dallin H. Oaks

          B. Teach the simple doctrine of the church

          C. Some times it is okay to say, "Well I don't know that, but here's what I do know..."

     2. President James G. Andrus

          A. We are here to learn what to be, then we won't be salesmen, we'll be Saints

          B. How do you judge a missionary's success - we judge not by any numbers but by the attributes of the Saviour that we see in their grandchildren

          C. The Saviour will know us because we will be like him

          D. The people we teach will pick up the attributes we project

          E. If we stay tuned we will pick up the attributes of our Saviour

          F. We change as we are called to serve and as we serve we gain the attributes of Christ

     3. Sister Andrus

          A. We live in an impatient world

          B. We get frustrated or impatient when things are slow

          C. "Be still and know that I am God"

          D. Everywhere in nature demonstrates patience

          E. "continue in patience until ye are perfected"

          F. The opportunity for patience comes to each of us in different ways

          G. Patience is not a gift, it must be cultivated

          H. Bearing pain calmly

          I. Patience is not indifference, it is caring very much, but being willing to submit to the Lord

          J. Just because we are willing to move on doesn't mean those around us are ready

          K. Christ is the perfect example of patience

          L. Do not let discouragement overcome us, be patient with ourselves

          M. Prayer + Patience --> The Lord with his patience for us, will help us gain patience

***6/5/04 PERSONAL STUDY JOURNAL NOTES: Studying/Teaching by the scriptures

          --The scriptures are useless unless we apply them to our own lives

          A. Know and describe the background

          B. Use relevant scriptures

          C. Let them read the scriptures

          D. Make it easy to find - know the page numbers

          E. Don't pick scriptures that are condemning

          F. Break it down

          G. Use questions to gauge understanding and encourage thought, questions and application

***June 5, 2004 JOURNAL

          This morning started out kind of slowly.  It was alright for most of the day, I was not all here.  Although not depressing my thoughts kept on returning to home.  I really wish there were more hours in the day.  I'd like to be able to study more and to write to more people at home.  I'm hopeful tomorrow isn't going to be hard like last Sunday.  But at least I know I will be able to go to the temple on Monday.

          Every time I learn about the sacrament i gain a deeper appreciation for it.  We talked on it some yesterday.  It helped me to re-realize that we re-new covenants.  All covenants made.  Every week the Lord gives us a chance to try again.  So great!

          We got to teach the first discussion to Elder Foster and Elder Ale tonight.  Elder Ale is from Maui.  The spirit was strong during that time.  It's really great.  Elder Ale has such a strong testimony of the gospel.  He's only been active again for a year or so, and he says he doesn't know much about the gospel.  But when he bears testimony there is no doubt in my mind that he know i'ts true.

          GOOD: learned the fourth discussion, had some time to think to myself

          COMPANION: working on being able to see the good in people, working on trying to say more sincere prayers

          GOALS: simple summary - 4th discussion, pay attention during sacrament meeting, have a good day, not to feel too homesick, smile

3 January 2013

Uhgg.  It's the pits when one spends the whole day cleaning and loses something important...  Or when one spends lots of time folding clothes and the baby decides to re-organize said clothes.

It's been a long, slow process (because I move slowly these days) (two days ...  o.O) to rehab the upstairs of the house after week of fun.  Week of fun was totally worth it!  Also downstairs was forced to stay clean because we had family over for the new year.  Upstairs wasn't too bad, I'm just slow at folding clothes.  But all the clothes are folded now, and there's just pwopwo's room left to be cleaned and to put her clothes away.  I dread putting the kids clothes away most weeks, because without fail one of them will decide that all their clothes needs to be pulled out of the drawers and spread out on the floors.  And only one of them knows how to, albeit reluctantly, put clothes away.

In November I started working on a home management binder and a planner binder.  I will talk more about these later.  I want to get my personal system straight first.  They have both been very useful, as I can't find an app on my kindle fire that can do everything, the way I want it.  Also there's something about writing things down on paper and being able to cross it off that appeals to me.  It's my planner binder that I've managed to misplace in all my cleaning.  I'm sure it will beanbag (for future reference) frog itself tomorrow.

I want to remember today that I feel blessed and loved by a loving Heavenly Father, by my wonderful, amazing husband, by the crazy babies and Dwight the Dog.  Thank you Finale of Les Miserables: "To love another person is to see the face of God!"

2013

***6/4/2004 MEETING NOTES: How to Begin Teaching
          1. Gaining trust through the spirit: The unique thing about our message it it's either true or it's not - will only know through prayer
          2. Be gentle, sincere honest, enthusiastic and positive
               a. who you are
               b. why you are there
               c. what the message can do for them

***June 4, 2004 JOURNAL: We were humbled
          We did the 2nd discussion twice this morning at the resource center.  Good experience.  We were taped and should have got feed back but Bro. Robinson wasn't that worried about Sis. Wagstaff and me.
          Part way through our MDT, (missionary directed time) Elder Wright, was trying to get us to convince him, about why he (posing as an investigator) should change his life.  After some people tried, I told him to ask Elder Duthrie (a convert of just over a year at the time.)  And we were humbled.  He reminded us that it's the spirit that converts, not us, and that we should remember the basic doctrine and not get so caught up in deep doctrine.
          GOOD: taught the 2nd and 3rd discussion, played volleyball
          COMPANION: teaches by the spirit, patient, willing to learn, humble, fun
          GOALS: obtain principles in 4th discussion, start looking over 5th/6th discussion, smile

1 January 2013

Sneaking one in here before the day ends.  Going back to life as normal after week of fun is generally depressing.  That will be for tomorrow.

Up until a couple of years ago, we were allowed to play with fireworks in Hawaii.  The past two years have been boring on New Year's Eve.  There are folk that go out and buy permits to purchase and burn legal firecrackers to pop.  Then there are the one's who get the illegal stuff and burn them for us all to enjoy.  The babies didn't make it until midnight, and I almost didn't make it either.  But we did spend New Year's Eve and New Year's Day together with our family.  That is what mattered to me the most.  The food was great!  We grilled meat and sausages and had some soup and baked beans for New Year's Eve.  When we played tetris on xbox and watched movies and tv to keep ourselves awake between short naps.  We have a tradition in the Smith family of local Hawaiian food for New Year's Day.  We prepared, wrapped and cooked pork and pork and fish laulau.  Nakeu made squid luau, kalua pig and lomi salmon and also boiled peanuts.  Mommy-Daddy have a sushi tradition, so they brought over rolled and cone sushi.  Jorell and Leilani brought some lumpia.  Oh, so yummy!