Loneliness on the Mission and the Next Step in Getting Back in School

In reading these old journal entries, I realize I got homesick a lot, especially at the beginning.  I mean, we were the only sister missionaries on the island.  There were three of us when I started, but after Sis. Garber went home, I spent something like 10 months with just me and my companion (Sis. Garside then Sis. Tolu).  In retrospect, it was simple experiences like this that make life a bit easier now.  When we decided that I should be a stay-at-home mom, nothing else could have prepared me for that feeling of being alone that inevitably comes when your vocabulary dwindles down to simple repetitive, two-syllable words as a result of spending most of your waking hours with small children and extra-curricular activities have to be scheduled around feeding times and are dependent on how long whom ever is watching the babies can handle the crying.

***August 10, 2004 JOURNAL: Lonesome
          All through out today I've been praying to have the spirit of the Lord with me.  I point this out because it isn't the normal wanting of the Lord's spirit that goes on daily.  It's more like a pleading for the Lord's spirit to be with me, to uphold me, to fill the empty parts of my heart - of missing home and family and friends.
          I had a lot of energy today, for a good part of the day too!  I can't remember the last time i felt energetic like that.  It was nice.  I learned that the Holy Ghost really does bring things to my remembrance.  That was an amazing feeling.  To bear testimony in Pohnpeian, after having prepared and studied, then having those words I needed come back to my memory when I needed them, was awesome.


9 November 2014:

After deciding to get a degree in Music Education on my own I needed to tell Nakeu.  Elder Godoy shared

It is very likely that when we decide to take a certain path, the people we love will be affected, and some will even share with us the results of this choice. Ideally, they should be able to see what we see and share our same convictions. This is not always possible, but when it occurs, the journey is much easier.

I knew that I needed to share this decision with Nakeu.  I also knew he would, as he has always been, completely supportive of this decision.  But, I was still trying to work through what I was going through with projected thoughts of failures and short comings.

One day we were out running errands with out the babies and decided to take a drive.  We headed into Campbell Industrial Park area exactly as everyone was trying to leave and traffic was back up.  I knew this was my opportunity because we'd have to drive around for a while so as not to get caught up in boring traffic.

I told Nakeu that I was thinking about changing to my course of degree to music.
He responded with, well it'll have to be in education.
And I said, of  course.

I shared with him how I had been thinking about switching to a music degree after starting work at the Kroc Center and having applied to another music related job at a small music/piano studio.  It felt like the right fit for moving forward with completing my degree.

At this point in the conversation there were still a good number of unknowns.  I knew that I would eventually need to be at UH Manoa, but I was unsure about how soon that would be.  I knew the task would be laborious, because I am almost starting from scratch (even with credits that would transfer) because it's such a drastic change in direction.

True to form, Nakeu supported my decision and we started making small plans of what the next steps should be.  I knew I needed to start meeting with some academic advisers as soon as possible as the next most logical step.

As soon as I was done sharing with Nakeu and we got back on the main road to go home, the traffic had all cleared.

Here feels like another natural pause in the story.

Here are some old photos that I don't think I shared yet.  We went to see the VexRobotic Competition:

Excuse the watermark from my website.

Love,
ARi