It's interesting that today's reflection journal was meant for today, when I have again been thinking about late inspiration. I recently found a devotional talk Elder Bednar gave at BYU-Idaho about prayer, revelation and inspiration. He said:
Sister Bednar and I frequently visit with students who wonder about career choices and how to properly select a school at which to study and receive additional education. Many times a student is perplexed—having felt as though “the” answer about a career or a school was received at one particular point in time, only to feel that a different and perhaps conflicting answer was received at another point in time. The question then is often asked, “Why did the Lord give me two different answers?” In like manner, a student may sincerely seek to know if the person he or she has been dating is “the one.” A feeling of “yes” at one time may appear to be contradicted by a different feeling of “no” at another time. May I simply suggest that what we initially believe is “the” answer may be but one part of a “line upon line, precept upon precept,” ongoing, incremental, and unfolding pattern of small answers. It is clearly the case that the Lord did not change His mind; rather, you and I must learn to better recognize the Lord’s pattern as a series of related and expanding answers to our most important questions.***July 13, 2004 JOURNAL: Happy Birthday Jerica
I wonder if I get inspiration late. Sometimes with writing letters, I don't think of things I need to say until Tuesday or Wednesday, instead of on Preparation Day - Monday. Recently, with writing a letter to a friend, a letter of encouragement. I feel so helpless, when it comes to helping out my friends. There's only so much I can do from here. Perhaps that's the way it needs to be.
I'm slightly excited for this weekend. Because the upcoming zone conference has a visiting general authority, the missionaries from Kosrae are coming to Pohnpei. I hope I get a chance to meet Elder Barney. It'll be a fun link from home. Greg introduced me to his parents. Well, Greg took me to a birthday party they had for Elder Barney's dad and claimed I was Jason (Epperson). They play the best version of Uno and I got to learn a bit about the Micronesia Guam Mission.
26 October 2014
I was supposed to start back at school at UH West Oahu this Fall (2014). I had decided I wanted to finish with a degree in Business (having started in BioChem). I was working on the Savvy Money Savings website and felt like it was a good decision. I felt like I would do well enough in classes, and a degree in business would be broad enough to cover most jobs I might want to do in the future when the babies are in school. I went through the application and acceptance process feeling good about this choice. But, I then I felt stopped up in the process and had trouble getting my medical in order before the start of term. So, I asked (and was granted) to defer until next Spring (2015).
In all that time (really in the last three months - when I haven't blogged), my main family childcare client dropped out (again) and I picked up an assistant job at the Kroc Center.
At the Kroc Center I work with an art class, but mainly with group piano classes and a beginning orchestra class. I assist the piano and string teachers with the classes, checking form, correcting notes and such. It's just a few afternoon/evening hours a week, but really enjoyable.
Also, Christmas orchestra started in August and we've been talking more seriously about continuing into the next year.
Then a new idea popped into my head (inspiration): teaching music. I rejected that idea more quickly than it took to realize in my head.
I had (and still have) many good reason to NOT get a degree in a music field: not being that confident a player (personal opinion), the commute to UH Manoa would be difficult with the babies still at home, it would take a lot more work and time than a business degree, conducting makes me feel overly nervous, performing and auditioning makes me want to hide under my bed, and since having babies I have trouble focusing on one thing at a time, like counting beats in a song. There are more excuses ...
But the longer I thought about excuses the more the idea grew in my head about how much I love music and working with children. So I looked into a Music Ed degree.
In the last few weeks I have learned that I will have more school advisers than children and that I'll have to trust answers to prayers and inspiration even when it doesn't all work out in my head (which, for me, important).
Humor me, for a bit longer as I relate the first quote to this experience, because this is where the real struggle was for me.
Why had I felt so strongly about getting a degree in business that would have taken me all the way through the application and acceptance process to a school that doesn't offer the program I now wanted?
It was the stepping stone.
Honestly, it is doubtful I would have considered a music degree until the more recent events had occurred with the Kroc Center job and other job opportunities.
Savvy Money Savings, the Coupoining classes and family child care all got me thinking about the most important next step: continuing school and finishing a degree.
When my main client with family child care dropped again, I felt upset. I felt like I was failing at something I thought was an answer to my prayers.
Family child care was and is an answer to prayers. But, if that client hadn't dropped out I would not have considered jobs outside working from home.
Another stepping stone, in fact a building block.
This feels like a good stopping point for this post. Obviously there is still the rest of the process of getting into school to explain. The story is good, but for another time with as wordy as this post is getting.
As a final point Elder Godoy gave a talk that helped solidify my decision in this last general conference. He quoted from Elder Oaks who said, "As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best." Working from home is good (especially when the babies are young) and was the best choice for a while. Business school would have been the better. And (for now) it seems that this MusicEd degree and career options are the best choice.
I promise to continue story-telling this process in future posts.
Now, to fulfill my first promise, here are the babies at the pumpkin patch:
Love,
ARi
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